It has been quite the number of years since I last wrote, and I apologize. I have made tremendous strides in my research! It turns out that because my physical body has all but eroded that I now have no limit to the metaphysical mass i am able to obtain. I am now able to lift a carriage with three large gentlemen and a fairly over weight bull mastiff. I can say this with utter confidence, because one evening as I was taking a moonlit stroll through Lowestoft I happen to come across a burglery on battery green. My immediate reaction was to call for the authorities, I quickly decided against that due to my current situation, and that I should be the one to take on the task of stopping them myself. A look out sitting outside in the carriage is awaiting the surfacing of the two men acting upon this hanus crime. Beside him sat what seemed to be the largest hound I had ever laid eyes upon. I creep up and crawl underneath the vehicle so as to not be noticed by the man or his humongous dog. Unfortunately, I happened to be down wind of the massive dog. He makes one good sniff and begins examining the area. Not soon after his bumbling owner begins examining the premises as well. I being the greatest mind the world has ever seen have already thought to strip myself of my tattered loins lingering with the remains of my pungent scent farther on down the street. The dog sniffs again and starts to lowly growl at a public waste disposal container. The driver hits the dog upside the head and they both retreat back to their posts. Not even ten minutes later the two men that were inside emerge and the four make their escape. I grapple to the bottom striving to hold on till they stop at their destination when suddenly I have an epiphany. I drop my feet to the ground, grab the sides of the carriage tighter. I then begin to attempt standing up. To my amazement it takes no time till these crooks are fully in the air and shortly on their backside. The crooks baffled at what just happen ponder what could have possibly done this. It only takes them a split second to notice my silhouette in the moonlight quickly realizing that someone or something had been stalking them all the way from Lowestoft. Noticing I didn't have a weapon at my disposal the biggest man of the group pulls out a gun and states, "Just walk away and no one gets hurt." I quickly respond in what seems like the growl of a wolf,"You are the wicked and so long as there are human beings of the same nature I cannot rest." Its extremely queer that I am even able to make a sound seeing as though I haven't a larynx for the air to vibrate up from. Whats more I didn't even think those words they just blurted out as if a greater being was controlling my voice. In any case the assailant then begins to fire upon me, and I lunge toward the gun. One bullet passes straight through my ribcage missing the bone completely. The burglers are terrified as I grab the gun and begin bashing the owner in the head with it. Once he is finished I turn towards the other two. The carriage drivers dog leaps towards me protecting his master, but turns out to not be a match. I throw him back at his master crippling both the portly man and his dog. The last one starts begging for mercy. I can see the fear in his eyes. He wets himself as i walk closer. I look down at him the moonlight acting as my pupils and whisper, "repent." He faints. Unfortunately not soon after, as I marveled at my new found strength, I begin to hear off in the distance the sound of a local policeman's whistle. I know its only a matter of time till they begin to follow the trail. I immediately begin booking it over 200 miles to Liverpool. I knew that if I could get there undetected I could stow away on a ship headed for America leaving my trail cold for the detectives of Scotland Yard, seeing as though I became a mass murderer in a span of 20 min. I am currently aboard the Duke of Clarence north bound to Montreal. Once I arrive I will make my way south west into california.
Shogun
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I am the Shogun a demon bent on wringing justice upon the world as I see fit. Thou hast been warned.
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The Purple Cushion Shogun
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