|
|
|
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1.. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". You got that right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this?
5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the stupid floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came, would I still be standing here?
 xoxo_urmyluver_xoxo · Tue Feb 19, 2008 @ 03:35am · 1 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
This is just....AWESOME!
Anyway, just read it.
> 1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your
> house faster than an
> ambulance.
>
> 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking
> places in front of a
> skating rink.
>
> 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick
> walk all the way to the
> back of the store to get their prescriptions while
> healthy people can buy
> cigarettes at the front.
>
> 4. Only in America......do people order double
> cheeseburgers, large fries,
> and a DIET coke.
>
> 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors
> open and then chain the
> pens to the counters.
>
> 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth
> thousands of dollars in the
> driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
>
> 7. Only in A merica......do we use answering
> machines to screen calls and
> then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from
> someone we didn't want
> to talk to in the first place.
>
> 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in
> packages of ten and buns in
> packages of eight.
>
> 9. Only in America......do we use the word
> 'politics' to describe the
> process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and
> 'tics' meaning
> 'bloodsucking creatures'
> .
> 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's
> with Braille
> lettering.
>
> EVER WONDER...?
> Why A 20oz "Coca-Cola" Product cost $1.09 (+tax)
> inside Wal-Mart, when you
> can get one out of the Vending Machine outside for
> $1.00 even?
>
> Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
>
> Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth
> closed?
>
> Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins
> Lottery"?
>
> Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
>
> Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
>
> Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on
> "Start"?
>
> Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and
> dish-washing liquid made
> with real lemons?
>
> Why is the man who invests all your money called a
> broker?
>
> Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic
> called rush hour?
>
> Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
>
> When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests
> it?
>
> Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
>
> Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal
> injections?
>
> You know that indestructible black box that is used
> on airplanes? Why don't
> they make the whole plane out of that stuff??
>
> Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
>
> Why are they called apartments when they are all
> stuck together?
>
> If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the
> opposite of progress?
>
> If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport
> the terminal?
>
>
> ------------------
> In case you needed further proof that the human race
> is doomed through
> stupidity, here are some actual label instructions
> on consumer goods:
>
>
> On a Sea rs hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (
> that's the only time I
> have to work on my hair).
>
>
> On a bag of Fritos:! .You could be a winner! No
> purchase necessary.
> Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
>
>
> On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular
> soap." (as opposed to
> "special" soap???)
>
>
> On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
> Defrost." (but, it's
> "just" a suggestion).
>
>
> On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do
> not turn upside down."
> (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
>
>
> On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be
> hot after heating."
> (...and you thought????...)
>
>
> On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron
> clothes on body." (but
> wouldn't t his save me more time?)
>
>
> On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a
> car or operate machinery
> after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to
> reduce the rate of
> construction accidents if we could just get those
> 5-year-olds with
> head-colds off those forklifts.)
>
>
> On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
> (and.. .I'm taking
> this because???....)
>
>
> On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or
> outdoor use only." (as
> opposed to...what?)
>
>
> On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for
> the other use." (now,
> somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
> curious.)
>
>
> On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
> (talk about a news flash)
>
>
> On an American Airlines packe t of nuts:
> "Instructions: Open packet, eat
> nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
>
>
> On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this
> garment does not enable you
> to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the
> parents for this one.)
>
>
> On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain
> with your hands or
> genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening
> somewhere?)
xoxo_urmyluver_xoxo · Sat Jan 19, 2008 @ 03:37pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
