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So i have this uncle. He's a crackhead, most of my uncles are. As a matter of fact, two of them died behind that mess. and my father has irreversible internal organ damage from crack. anyway, back to this awesome, awesome story. So, last year, my uncle was hospitalized with a broken jaw. they had to wire his mouth shut cuz of it was essentially shattered. why? n*gga got into a fight over rocks. or so i'm lead to believe. amazing right? you have to eat through a straw for the next 6 months because you got beat the f*ck up over rocks. enough to make you quit right? WRONG! a few months later, my ma gets a call in from the hospital yet again. this time, the same uncle is in a coma. severe head trauma. after a month of touch and go (he died twice) he gets better and is released to my mother. slow to speak and prone to forgetting as his short term memory is useless now, My uncle decides to go straight. Apparently head trauma and two near death experiences, loss of memory and mechanical functions on top of a wired jaw is enough to make you want to stop smoking rocks. So my uncle starts going back to church, enters rehab, essentially turns his life around. Fantastic!
Enter, my other uncle, his little brother. we shall refer to him temptation. like all the other male role models in my life, uncle temptation is a goddamn crackhead but not just any kind. He's a social crackhead, the kind that can't get it on their own unless they absolutely have to. he moves in with my ma and my uncle and all of the progress he's made is shot cuz of, you guessed it, uncle temptation which leads me to the awesome part of this elaborate tail of ridiculous and lack of sense. Last week, my uncle goes missing for 4 days. my mother is naturally worried as his memory is balls and he is slow but after a few days, she sees different. Just as shes about to give up she gets a call. guess who it was. The Hospital! they have my uncle! apparently, he was run over and robbed in the street! they crushed his legs and he's been recuperating for a week. so, my ma goes to the hospital and asks what happened. my uncle tells some elaborate story which is total bullsh*t. My ma looks at him sideways and says, "n*gga please. you was binge-cracking (binge-cracking for those of you fortunate enough not to know what that is, is when one gets a large sum of money and spends it all of crack. generally this binge lasts for days or until the money runs out thus my uncle missing a week)and ran out of dough so they broke your f*cking legs an robbed you." This is the more believable story. Binge cracking and broken legs. So, to sum up, my uncle had his jaw wired shut, died twice, sever brain damage and two broken legs behind crack rocks. with this be enough? who knows, only time will tell. thew icing? he's going to be on the goddamn news, telling his story of survival! sh*t is HI-lariuous!
CRACK CRACK CRACK!!
UPDATE: so apparently, after seeing this news special on my uncle, new information came to light. It has been confirmed he was at a crackhouse. this particular crackhouse is also the home of his on/off girlfriend. she has no teeth. anyway, so the guys that ran over my uncle, they are crack dealers which makes this crime not so random. the kicker, my little brother KNOWS THEM!! yeah, the guys who hit my uncle hangout with my dad! amazing!
 Smokey5000 · Sat Aug 09, 2008 @ 03:03am · 1 Comments |
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Not so much an entry as a list of manga i am planning to read. figured i'd post it here because i hardly ever post anything of relevance in this journal anymore. If yall have any suggestions of other awesome sh*t out there to check out manga wise, leave a comment and enlighten a brotha. I'll even leave a rating for the ones i have finished reading. Bold means i'm in the process of reading, Strike means i already have read.
Seinin
Abara
Akumetsu
B Reaction
Basalisk
b*****d!
Biomega
Bitter Virgin
3.5/5, Bitter virgin has a damn disheartening beginning. i won't go into details because it'll ruin the story, but strictly on characterization and development, this is a must read. The content is decidedly adult and not in a violent way. if you can handle that, i encourage a read through.
Black God
5/5, I'm a sucker for a good beat em up and this is a damn good beat em up. The art is top notch, the fight scenes epic, and the plot doesn't suck as bad as you'd think it would. It's not dragonball Z (my all time favorite beat em up manga which is a classic in more ways than one) but it's still pretty heavy on the volence.
Black Lagoon
BLAME!
4/5, You have to like cyberpunk alot to get into this one, plot wise. i do so it was cake. Even if you can't dig that, the art and fighting are top notch. The dude who makes this also makes Abara, another excellent book...so far
C.A.T
Change 123
Deadman Wonderland
Devilman
2.5/5, This one is dated and it shows it's age. Story wise, it's decent, plenty of action and boobies but it's kind of hard to get behind it because i'm not 50. Many a cartoon and movie were created from this classic so it does stand the test of time well but, i don't know. seemed cheesy to me honestly. What may have been controversial and cutting edge back then seems a little cheesy to me now. Give it a read for nostalgias sake but don't expect much.
Dorohedero
Elfen Lied
5/5, This is a dark tale. Some of the most violent and emotionally damaging literature i have ever had the pleasure of reading. Nyu is cute and innocent, but lucy is a vicious, violent, murderous b*tch. The show, for those of you who have had the pleasure of viewing it, has absolutely nothing on the book. Read the book. Now.
Franken Fran
Gantz
5/5, one of my all time favorite charaters is the lead in this book, Kei Kurono. this cat is a boss. biggest balls on a dude i have ever had the pleasure of reading about. it's a damn shame he gets killed. READ MOAR GANTZ!
Genshiken
Gyo
Highschool of the Dead
Imouto wa Shishunki
Jack Frost
Jackals
Kurogane no LineBarrel
Maken X
Monster
Mysterious Girlfriend X
Saikano
Sekirei
Shina Dark
Spice and Wolf
Tenjou Tenge
3/5, memorable charcaters, epic fight scenes, titanic story that spans centuries, and n**-slps galore; Tenjou Tenge has a little bit of awesome for everyone. Brought to you buy the guy who does Air gear, Tenjou Tenge is chick full of violence and win.
Tsukihime
4.5/5, I'm a huge fan of type moon and generally gobble uup anything they crap out. Im like that with Sony and Sqare enix as well...weird, anyway, Tsukihime is no exception. even if i wasn't a total fanboy, i'd still recommend a read through on this one. a kid with a SEVERE split personality who is compelled to kill anything with a hint of evil in it falls in love with the most powerful vampire ever. so, you know there is a little of that "spousal abuse" about. Arcueid is go!
Ubel Blatt
Umi no Misaki
Unbalance X Unbalnce
Uzumaki
1/5, Uzumaki was stupid.
X Blade
XxxHolic
Zero
Zetman
Smokey5000 · Mon Jun 30, 2008 @ 07:20pm · 0 Comments |
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Man, don't you never talk about Samuel Mothaf*ckin' Awesome Leroy Jackson's d**k! you keep his d**k out you goddamn mouth lest you be struck down by the hand of god with hot, oily-infected Monkey AIDS! It will turn your d**k green and seer it off within hours and if you are a woman, You ain't safe neither! The monkey AIDS specifically designed for those who keep Samuel Mothaf*ckin Awesome Leroy Jackson's d**k in they mouth will FORCE you to grow a d**k, PAINFULLY! Then, when said d**k is at it's utmost magnificent, it will turn it green and seer it off like acid on a leper! And that just happened B*TCH!!
Get Butt naked!
Smokey5000 · Sun May 04, 2008 @ 09:16am · 1 Comments |
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I don't like scientology. it makes no sense to me. their entire religion is based off of a failed science fiction screenplay and they make you pay to be apart of their cult. i mean, sh*t like this makes me very weary...
Xenu. just read the stuff here. it's amazing.
Ok, so that's their doctrine. everything the "religion" is based on right? so here is their jesus, Tom cruise talking about being a scientologist.
Tom cruise on Tom Cruise, Scientologist
Something is off about this cat. and this is your poster child of your "religion"? oh my god, what the hell? how can anyone actually believe any of this. I found this here on DA as i persued through variousness. it's awesome. Now, take this cat and multiply it by how ever many people are in the church. hell, they get the majority of their recruits from PRISON!
Okay, heres some info for you...Just tossing it out there to broaden your understanding.
In canada the church has an estimated 1500 followers based on 2002 census. Its Popular in the states especially among rich people.
Also, you would be hard pressed to find friends of people within the actual Cult of Scientology..As the cult has a policy that those who you cannot convert are not to be associated with. Also has a "Fair Game" policy which by "SP's"(Supressive Persons..or enemies of the church) may be "Lied to, cheated, repossed of their property, harrased or terminated".
The best way to describe Scientology is with this parable from protestors; "Ask A christian about their religion, they will tell you. Ask a Muslim about their Faith, they will tell you. Ask a Jew about their faith, they will tell you. Ask a Scientologist about their faith, they will tell you, after your cheque clears."
basically..in order to learn more about the church you have to pay money..its a huge scam to get peoples cash. It's own founder is quoted as saying "If you want to make millions, start a religion".
It has been involved in some questionable happenings; all outlined here [link] And if you take a look at the youtube videos of their new years celebration, you will see the head of Co$ Speed talking and using extremely confusing language/overblown language. Basically..watch it..and you are like...wow He's a raving lunatic employing every tactic in the book to brainwash people.
So, basically, they'll kill you and take your stuff because you speak out against their religion. i mean, the cats that were unmasked during the Feb 10, Anon movement dealy are getting followed and death threats. what kind of f*cked up religion threatens to kill people who don't believe in it. that sh*t is nuts to me. Here's another from DA.
Exactly.
Apparently by that point most people are A) up to their ears in debt to the "Church" and/or B) so brainwashed they'll believe anything told to them... but the doctrine fed to them at that point resembles a really bad science-fiction novel... which is, incidentally, what L. Ron Hubbard made his living writing... imagine that...
Simply amazing...
Smokey5000 · Tue Feb 12, 2008 @ 05:04pm · 0 Comments |
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So, i opted to open a joint art shop with a few of my closer friends her on gaia. when i joined, i made it very clear as to the extent of my activity and cost of my art. this is essentially the post i made for orders and what not there.
Smokey5000 Smokey brand Franchise So, i am Smokey and i am legend. My art has no set price and my little "franchise here will probably never be open unless you as the customer bribe the hell out of me. or i happen to like your avy. you might get free arts then. never really know with me. anyway, here are some samples i guessExamplesSteveo
Miss Nanne
holiday Co-chan
Project 12
Emmy
Smokey
Nightmare
DSWhat you'll getSo, for the bribe or whatever, you'll basically get a sketch, inked and shaded. i'd color it but i don't have the means to do so at the moment. besides, this is a franchise. gotta save the good stuff form my shop cool How to orderName:
bribe cool :
description:
reference:
extra:fill out the above form and post it here. if i feel the bribe is awesome enough, i'll PM you a confirmation and let Ali know to expect payment. if you get no word from me, then assume i won't do it. I accept gold, items or other arts.
I'll pretty much draw anything. doesn't matter to me. No yaoi though. it's not that i can't do it, i just don't want to.
~
I am legend
So i thought it was pretty thorough. i mean, i mentioned the state that my art was in before hand, set a definiton for what it would take to get me to do the commissioned art, and even set forth a confirmation system so you'd know if i was doing it or not. plain as day right? So, this chick places an order to me and it was lame. looked like this:
Name:Brom
bribe cool : 10k? D=
reference: 
So i didn't want to do it. she offered 10k and assumed i would. almost three days go by and i haven't contacted this chick per the agrrement in my post. So, today, a young lady comes into the thread and offers me something titilating so i jump on it. we agree on a price and i again show her the quality of my art, just to make sure. all of it is in order and we commence to continue the transaction. I let Ali know i am doin this other chicks work and instead of this Brom character. i go back to the thread afetrward and, well, this is basically what she said to and about me and my rebuttle here:
smokey5000 A Name of Power Miss Umoh Okay, well I'm hoping to get some commissions in before then so I'm not totally broke. xD Smokey5000 10k is a little light on the birbe there miss. i charge 25k for what i offer here. considering my shop is closed adn i am on hiatus as an artist, you may want to up the bribe.
For future reference, you should charge what you want to earn and be ready to draw when a request is put forth to you.
I came to this thread because Vupi, Ali and I are good friends and I wanted to be nice and get art from anyone. Your ungrateful attitude almost makes me regret having come here.
On a final note .. your art all seems to be eyeballed or traced. 10k is actually a very generous amount to be offered if you're truly refrencing other artwork as inspiration for your artwork. If you are actually tracing other artwork, you are commiting theft and that's not allowed. confused
Good luck to you with whatever you do from here on out - you are going to need it.
I approached you with the utmost of respect. the fact that i did not want to do your sommision is not disrespectful but for you to attack me in this manner is. Simply put, i did not like your commission. i felt the art itse;f would be less than challenging and completely drab. This was te reason i did not want to do your art. I am not extorting anything from anyone. I went into this shop clearly stating my postiton in said thread and it was understood that i was to only do the commissions i felt like doing. In the end, fundamentally, your request is simply that, a request. By nature they are either dismissed or accepted. i dismissed yours. this is not disrespect, but simply business. in all honesty, i have a shop and a very succesful one at that. i am here in this shop as a favor to Ali and Vupi. if they believe me to be a burden, then i will gladly leave but that is only if they feel as such. i do not know you and owe no one obligation for my services, ever. just because you ask Ali doesn't mean i accepted it. as i recall, i stated plain as day in my post i would contact you if i will do your art and to assume if i hadn't that i did not accept your request.
I do charge what i feel i should earn when in my own shop. My own, highly succesful shop. 200+ commissions and going, so i obviously am doing something right. I am on hiatus right now from commissions in general which si why it says bribr and no price. Bribe could mean items, art trade, an avy that aentices me, all of which are stated in the definition of a bribe i posted there. You skathed over what i had wrote and made a myriad of assumptions that you are now completely regretting. Your own perception is to blame for your "surprise" You never once contacted me, the artist even though it is stated plain as day in my post. you assumed i would do it with no reply from myself rather than inquire further. I am not saying it is your fault entirely, i may have worded my requirements a bit vaugely but in the end, it was your preconceptions that have left you disappointed.
And your opinion of my art is fine. if you think it's eyeballed, then do not order it. obviously you thought it was good enough to request for 10k so what has changed now? other than i don't want to do it, i mean. it amazes me th at my art went from something you'd be willing to pay for all the way to "eyeballed or traced". For the record, i draw my art freehand then continue over it with inks. I do not trace my artwork from anywhere and the fact that there are over 100 satisfied customers under my belt, how could i? the math simply doesn't add up. Frankly i find this last bit terribly droll and amazingly immature. you are essentially taking a pot shot at my art because i do not want to accept your commision. so very childish. The deal bartered between miss Umoh and is none of your business. i will not be charging her her extra for any art other than the decided upon cost. frankly, you need to stay out of it. for you to turn around and harrass a customer of mine because you didn'tget yor way makes you look like a child. pleas, be an adult about this entire situation and apologize to Umoh for your lack of self control. i mean, all of this unwarranted tantrum you have pulled here would have been better suited in my PM box rather than your "good friends" place of business. Then again, if you had read my post properly the first time, we would not be in this position. as far as i am concerned, i don't care how you feel about me or my art. carry on with whatever you do and never speak to me again.
Now, i ask, am i out of line here? i mean, i made the prerequsites for my talents painstakingly clear didn't i? how could there possibly be a complete an utter breakdown like this? It's actually pretty funny to me as this chik literally thinks i give a damn about her opinion of me. f*cking HI-larious.
Smokey5000 · Fri Feb 01, 2008 @ 10:02pm · 0 Comments |
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sucked. that's all i have to say. it was balls.
Smokey5000 · Mon Jan 07, 2008 @ 08:29pm · 1 Comments |
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So my journal lately has been filled with nothing but BS and ridiculousness as of late because my life is drama free. literally, nothing exciting happens in my life, Not since i removed certain variables from my life and moved the f*ck away. It's awesome because i am boring now. never thought i'd be able to say that. So i decide to go home for christmas and catch up on things. as such, this is what is transpiring wit hmy family:
My Ma- My ma is still the perpetual f*ck up. Not two minutes into entering my apartment did she hit me up for sixty dollars >.< it was awesome. she's like, "your apartment is dirty. gimme some dough!" So i took her to breakfast and filled her tank. we get to her apartment and she goes into how terrible my little brothers are. I remind her that she killed their dog and lost our home. she goes to bed. I go shopping, get them some food. not muchjust bread, butter, milk, that sort fo thing. We have christmas "dinner" and she takes me home. I get to the door and she's like "don't forget me." i give her 80 dollars instead of the sixty cuz, in the 6 hours since i got picked up, her need for dough has risen by twenty dollars. awesome.
My brother Nik- This kid is amazing. Through all of the bullshit in the last year, he was able to score in the upper 90% tile of the PSAT. like, this thing is out of sixty in three categories Math, Reading, and writing. He got a 54 in reading, 59 in math and a 45 in writing. seriously that is just plain scary smart. On the high school equivalency he got like, 99% or something ridiculous. On top of that, he's been taking all of the classes he's botched over, pulling nothin less than B's. I don't undeerstand why he didn't do it the first time but whatever, i mean the kid is taking care of what he needs to. I mean, he's a total a** but i was as well. In my eyes, can't nobody tell Nik anything. I', saying, he sa i nthe dark for the first month of school and still pulled a 3.5 for the quarter carrying 7 classes.
My brother Matt- Matthew may be an idiot sevant or something, i don't know anymore. So, he gets kicked out of High School for not showing up and transfers to home stidies. you only go for, like thre hours a day, and he doesn't. But, when asked if your work is done, he produces a months worth at once. to top that off this cat scored in the upper 80% for his high school equivalency. I do not get this kid at all. i mean, he can't play dominoes for sh*t but he's smarter than 80% of the high schoolers in California? i'm starting to believe he's smarter than all of us and is some sort of super secret agent for the shadow government or something....
My uncle Tony- This n*gga is still a bum.
My Uncle Monty- So my uincle Monty got a settlement for one of his many, many frivolous lawssuits and has become a paranois miser. He cooped himself up in his apartment and just sleeps and smokes crack all day, it's awesome. i was told he got bretween 50 and 150k. we ain't sure because he lies like a goddamn snake.
Thomas- My father has become, at the tender young age of fifty, a damn pimp. He pimps this crack whore chick named Francine who pees in public. Like literally sqauts over a manhole and lets it rip. It's ridiulous because Matthew goes over there andcomes back with these ridiculous a** stories about him mashing about in my grandmother's car and whatnot, selling pot to kids and sh*t. Dudes a f*cking joke and embarrassment. Oh, and he is going to shoot m the next time he see's me. My father, whom i haven't seen in like, 5 years, wants to shoot me. Awesome.
My grandma Audrey- So my grandma has MRCR.They treat this sh*t with the same sh*t they treat ANTHRAX with because it's stupid resistant to antibiotics. Like, it has a 90% kill rate in the lederly so that's pretty much it for her. She'll be dead within three months, easily. But the kicker, my dad and his hooligans have already robbed her of her belongings. Thomas got the cars and all of the fine crystal she had been collecting for almost 50 years. it's like, she's not dead yet wtf?!
So yeah, this is christmas for Ryan and his family. Good times.
Smokey5000 · Wed Dec 26, 2007 @ 04:33pm · 4 Comments |
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went to see I am Legend with B and the missus. i got to go with chicky, which was awesome. it's weird but i think i miss her a little bit now that she be off in the bay areas. that almost never happens. hm. I got to meet weenies which was awesome! i kinda didn't think she 'd be so quiet though. but then again, i am epiclly loud my own damn self. for those of you that don't know, i am in life how i am on here: baligerant, loud, obnoxious, mildly conceited and about 40% bigot. Terrible person, i am but it's coo. i doubt she'll ever want to come out here again >.< Anyway, so i was diggin the movie real nice. I can't really go into detail as to why, gives away the utter awesome, but the flick itself is very well written. the subtleties of will smiths's take on Neville are awesome. I mean, you believe he is the last man on earth which is somethni i had no idea was possible for an actor. Think Tom hanks perfomance in the castaway. how versatile of an actor do you have to be to carry a movie by yourself, ya dig?
In the end, ithoguht it wasa decent movie, not super great ut one of the betetr ones of the year. B though it was balls. I think he wanted more zombie murder but that really isn't what the book or the film is about. I'd go into detai labout it but i dont't feel like it. Teh lazy and all. i must say though, apparently chickenz and weenies, they be rather jump-prone. i was told, cuz i ended up seeing the flick from a corner cuz the theter was packed and i forgot where to go after i went to the can, that they were like the shreik and peek twins.
All in all, i had a good time. I missed getting out with a crew and doing things en masse, y'know? reminds me of senior year of high school/freshamn of college. good times. 3nodding
oh yeah, i saw the trailer for the Dark Knight and an actual performance of the joker. I must say,i was wrong before. This joker... f*ckign sinister. F*cking sinister... I lokok forward to the new movie
Smokey5000 · Mon Dec 17, 2007 @ 04:45pm · 2 Comments |
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so i got this Gaia cash or whatever. never use the stuff right? so i figure, what the hell? let's see what the what's what. get ot the shop and there is sh*t there for, like 149. i go to get this new scarf or whatever and the f*cker say 51 or something. anyway, it was more than what i have so i was denied. i remeber reading a while back though that Gaia cash is dollar for doallar and what not so wtf?? why am i shelling out 149 yux for some sh*t i ain't never gonna use in life?? seriously, whay the f*ck is there stuff ther efor more than 10 dollars. that's reasonable. pushing the hell out of it but reasopnable. tese a*****e on gaia want you to pay out your a** for sh*t that doesn't exsist! it literally doesn't exsist. it's not tangable, can't be manipulated, or ever used outide of this specific site. Who in the f*ck would pay mone for this sh*t? this hasd got to be the most obnoxious hustle i have ever seen in my life, eriously. Could go buy some f*cking jordans for the cash they want for sh*t here. f*cking obnoxious.
Smokey5000 · Fri Nov 30, 2007 @ 11:00pm · 1 Comments |
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