okay guys, i have a slight problem
it's about Aaron again. i've been haning out with him with no intentions on getting back together but now i'm thinking about it. i mean, we connect just like we use to and i feel so drawn to him now that i don't know how much longer i can take it. i mean, he's everywhere!
he's in my dreams, at my house at times, in conversations. i cna't get away and i don't want to. when ever we hang out, it's all about the laughs. but then i actually had a real conversation with him and it felt like i could really conncet with this person. i don't ever want him to leave my life, but being boyfriead and girlfriend again wont solve a thing. it always gets complicated. his family is really nice to me and basically treat me like thier own, especially since i live with thier daughter. and it's not like i can try and cut him away again cuz my ties to him just got stronger. i want him in so many ways, yet i'm afraid to admit it cuz he might not feel the same way.
but that's just part of the problem
another part is i can't see myself being with anyone else cuz i feel like i'm cheating on him. like he really does love me and thinks that i kinda belong to him and won't let any other guy come between us. i had a dream that iw as on a date with some guy(he dind't have a face or name) and aaron was there. i sat in between him, with the guy i was dating's arm around my shoulder. aaron basicaly grabbed my hand, right there in the middle of the movie and he and the other guy were about to battle it out. i knew that i had to make aaron stop cuz technically he was at fault, but i couldn't . i just ran away cuz i wasn't sure what i wanted. i never am in real life.
if any guy entered my life, i'd be too blined my the image of aaron to really see it for what it is, and that frustrates me. i'm so attacted to soething that isn't mine anymore, yet i feel like i'm chained to him. the chain may of gotten longer but he's still holding the other end. and i love/hate that. why do i feel like this?
 marluxiasflower · Tue Apr 06, 2010 @ 04:00am · 1 Comments |
"The Truth Never Set Me Free, So I Did it Myself"