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I'm terrible... I really should cuddle my journal and say to it softly that I don't mean to hurt its feelings by not writing in it as much as I do.
Well whats going on, life is going pretty great. Actually, very great. School, well uni I should say (habit from Benjamin), is great. Im comfortable in my house on this evening, full of food and lacking in the study department. But its the fun that counts just as much as the knowledge in my head, or so I think right at this point.
Many great things have happened. Unusual really for a man like me to be smiling in a journal, but hey, it can happen to the worst! Friends come and go, but its always nice to make new ones that are kind, cute and make me sigh. Yes, I would probably get hit for even really thinking these ideas aloud on the interweb, but hey, its the interweb, I couldnt and further more wouldnt go after any of my new friends in any bad sort of way... the mistake that a lot of people may make.
Koji is well, and its nice we can relax and help each other. I don't think I am as important to him, as he is to me; not that Im blaming him at all. Afterall, I am the one with many of the personal crisis, who probably uses him a bit too much to just dump them on. Hes also got to suffer my terrible still evolving immaturish behavior. I dont know how or why he does it, but he does... thats the main thing and for that Im always grateful.
My tummy is performing hula hoops, Its food and my meds, but hey thats life, cant always be 100% all of the time. Its nice to be there for a while, and I have been. Im glad.
I want to apologise to all my friends whom I haven't spoke to, especially and foremost Kecitich . I havent forgotten you mister, I mean to reply, but I never seem to get round to doing it, because I want to write you a nice long long reply and never seem to have the amount of time I want to devote to it. It will come soon.
Love to all
Dimari x
 Dr Dimari · Mon Feb 25, 2008 @ 11:27pm · 1 Comments |
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I find myself playing my music extremely loud this dreary cold Thursday afternoon/evening. I just want to give into the world at the moment; everything was going great, but without me realising it, things have been chewing at me, one thing at a time, until I realise I have been walking with only one arm, half a foot and a chump out of my head.
I am writing this here, so I can vent and get rid of some of my anger/depression/frustration. I am trying to call Koji, but hes not answering. I feel we have drifting away from one another... and I dont want that to happen, not at all. I know hes got things to be doing and the such, but when I need him, hes not there... and yet I try to be there for him... or fit myself around what hes doing. I'm quite frankly a bit peeved. Yet I'm even more peeved I'm writing this.
If things don't seem that bad, well good for you... I got some results from the doctor... everything is okay, except for a biopsy on my endoscopy. It showed some slightly dysplastic tissue, which is the initial start to cancer... so I'm gonna have to be on some good treatment for that. Not as severe if I had cancer; but there is a 40% it might develop into a malignant cancer. So yeah... thats a great thing to have looming on my mind ... right just after my dad's health is getting a little better after his serious operation. Yeah... Im still looking after him when I go home at the weekends and the times during the week I get off. Oh yeah, and I have been told I am overweight, especially as I a put on 18lbs in 6 weeks... which isnt good...
Not only that, but my housemates are being complete ********. Well two of them. I mean, I asked them about 6 weeks ago whether they want to live together next academic year (2008-09) but they havent got back to me... so now our house is not secure for the year 2008-09 and I am trying to find a house for three people rather than six, because I am refusing to live with two hypocritical people that are down right lazy, back stabbing people and have the worst manners in the world. Trying to find the time for that; my study; looking after dad and my various jobs to keep me in money is proving such a hard task. The more time I take off from work and study, the more it piles up and the more problems I get. I just want this crap to be over. It frustrates me so much, and I am just so angry with the world right now for it to keep dealing me shitty cards. I never get a nice hand. I am struggling, and its a shame there arent that many people I can rely on. I know I have to get on with it, but the way I'm, feeling, I just dont have the energy or time to get on... I'd rather life sail past me... and get worse. But then I'll feel even more crappy. Oh well... This is Dimari waffling on, not that I'm expecting anyone to read this...
Dr Dimari · Thu Nov 29, 2007 @ 06:19pm · 2 Comments |
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Everytime I write a blog, its usually all depressing. I then realise thaat my life sucks at the minute, and I probabaly just focus on the rubbish on it. I just sit back and sigh at the day. Being tired really hits me and drains me. I am fed up of the crap I am dealt with. My Dad is currrently in a state where he might be paralysed if I dont take care of him. Im the only one at home qualiied enough to be a carer for him, my mum isnt fit to do it, and is upset and fed up enough herself. There is therefore the risk that I will have to forefit my career, at least for a year. He has got sos much spinal damage that if he isnt careful, I might have to be a permanent carer, and totally scrap being a doctor.
Furthermore, Im tired totally. Im working full time, with very little time to myself and my family. I rarely keep in touch with the boyfriend, and I love him so so much. It hurts, but I like it in a way. It makes me know how much I love, appreciate him, and howw much I need him in my life. Logic says that I shouldnt be with him, but everytime I think that I get into tears. hes my ben, MY BEN... and i adore him no matter where he is or how far away he is. Hes my babe, and its amazing to have him.
I need to chill out... but Im stupid and havent made anytime for me... but Im scared that if I dont work all the hours god sends, I may be stuck for money if Dad loses his job or something. Anyways, I will leave you all for now... I hope soon I can write a fun blog.
Rob xxx
Dr Dimari · Fri Aug 10, 2007 @ 10:02pm · 2 Comments |
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So much has changed. Its been a whole year since I last wrote in my Journal. Im now in sheffield, and got my dream... I am a medical student, with the most awesome friends, away from mum and dad, so Im sane! lol... the only thing I'm missing is a boyfriend, but Im working on that... indeedies! XD So... yeah! a whole year... pitty I cant write much more at the minute, as I have a lecture in a little while... well yeah! XD x x x
Dr Dimari · Wed Nov 15, 2006 @ 07:46am · 1 Comments |
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I just want to appologise to anyone that may think that I'm ignoring them. At current, I'm really busy, and really dont like the work load... alas, its taking all my time. School work at the minute is just like walking into the alps, when someone yodles, and i get covered deep and heavily within a snow avalanche. gah!
Anyways, lets not go into details, because I must get stuck in!
With all my love
Rob -x-
Dr Dimari · Tue Nov 15, 2005 @ 07:57am · 0 Comments |
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Time goes by...
... so slowly
Time goes by...
... so slowly
Time goes by...
... so slowly
Time goes by...
... so slowly
Time goes by...
... so slowly
Time goes by...
... so slowly
Every little thing that you say or do,
I'm hung up. I'm hung up on you.
Waiting for you call, baby, night and day,
I'm fed up. I'm tired of waiting on you.
Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...
... no time to hesitate.
Those who run, seem to have all the fun, I'm caught up...
... I dont know what to do.
Time goes by...
... so slowly
Time goes by...
... so slowly
Time goes by...
... so slowly
... I don't know what to do.
Every little thing that you say or do,
I'm hung up. I'm hung up on you.
Waiting for you call, baby, night and day,
I'm fed up. I'm tired of waiting on you.
Every little thing that you say or do,
I'm hung up. I'm hung up on you.
Waiting for you call, baby, night and day,
I'm fed up. I'm tired of waiting on you.
Ring ring ring goes the telephone, the lights are on, but theres noone home.
Tick tick tock its a quauter-to-two, and I'm done, I'm hanging up on you.
I can't keep on waiting for you...
I know that your still hesitating...
Don't cry for me, 'cause I will find my way...
You'll wake up one day...
... but it will be too late
Every little thing that you say or do,
I'm hung up. I'm hung up on you.
Waiting for you call, baby, night and day,
I'm fed up. I'm tired of waiting on you.
Every little thing that you say or do,
I'm hung up. I'm hung up on you.
Waiting for you call, baby, night and day,
I'm fed up. I'm tired of waiting on you.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
I cant really talk much because my throat kills me soooo much, so i decided to speak my thoughts through Madonna... please dont shoot me down, for sayings it a bad song, and I'm a freak for having a liking to her. I think shes pretty cool, and if you dont, then i'm fine with that, just dont bother flaming for someones likes!
These lyrics are really interesting, and I've concluded that If you ever need to break up with someone, then this a great song to use!
Dr Dimari · Thu Nov 10, 2005 @ 08:13am · 2 Comments |
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Thats the name of a Slayers song sung by Megumi Hayashibara, of which I'm a great fan, however it describes what my mood is at the moment. One thing after the next faces me, and I damned as hell to let it get in my way... so I will run all the way!
But onto the more fun things! I am looking forward to this weekend, as its bonfire night! Lovely toasted marshmellows in an open fire, looking up at the sky watching the explosions of blue, purple, silver, gold, red, orange and yello within the nights dark and cold sky with the stars shining bright, laid in the arms of a beautiful prince... yeah i wish... and in my dreams, though i hope one day it will come true. *winks*
Otherwise, I'm actually going to my friends house and we're just gonna have a night in... lol! Oh well, that will be fun!
So lets have a toast to good health with the wine in my hand! wink
Rob -x-
Dr Dimari · Fri Nov 04, 2005 @ 04:53pm · 2 Comments |
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I believe life is a cycle... the lifecycle |
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Heheh... I dont know. Well to let everyone know, I havent chucked myself off that bridge yet. I'm still living and getting my life back on track. Firstly, I have got my university application finished, which has taken a great weight off my shoulders... for people whom want to know what I have applied for, look directly below!
1. Medicine - UEA university (Norwich)
2. Medicine - Sheffield university
3. Medicine - Manchester university
4. Medicine - Penninsular Medical School (Plymouth and Exeter Med school)
5. Biology with a year in USA - UEA
6. Ecology with a year in USA - UEA
So, for people I know well in Florida... i might be studying near you for some time! lol ^_^
My school is going alright too... I told that teacher what I thought, and hes stopped... I kinda threatened him, and that seemed to work.
But on a much lighter note... I'ma joyfull! I have a few people in my life that i can really hold up my hands to and say that I love them, and would do anything for them. I want to let them know, they know whom they are, thank you! AND I want to say thank you to all those people whom having given me good luck, love and kindness on my journey through the last months, its so much appreciated... I'm back on top of my life, and its been made much easier with support from people like yous!
Recently, I have been match making! thats been fun... I also have matched a couple, which at current have been together over 5 months! ^^ bless them! OOOOh... bonfire night is approaching soon. I think I'm gonna go to a friends house, and help them host a party! thats gonna be so fun! I can't wait. Halloween thought tomorrow, not something I bother about... lol... *gets yelled at* sorry... I just never understood what it is about... lol... Oh well... we cant all know about everething i guess.
Well thank you for listening to me... and I'm sorry i havent been in contact with everyone... I have been busy with hospital and youth work as well as trying to study at the same time! lol... oh the joy! ^_^
Bai for now, love to all -x-
Dr Dimari · Sun Oct 30, 2005 @ 09:58pm · 1 Comments |
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