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I was poetic.
I was symmetric.
I was an effective killing machine.
My luster was lost along with the last shreds of sanity I had left in me.
I became dull and hostile.
I remain that way.
I became uninterested and depressed.
I remain that way.
It is who I am now.
Now I am nothing.
Nothing but the shell of a soul who's been to hell and back.
I was left by all who could have helped and thrown into a harsh environment.
An environment of which felt like the sun beating down on me in the Sahara.
Drying out my insides and making me helpless and vulnerable.
Willing to trust the wrong person.
Willing to do anything to get my wounds healed and my revenge under way.
I wish that I could have stopped everything.
To be anything other than some persons rag doll.
To be pushed and shoved around.
But that's how I treated other people.
The Golden Rule came back to bite me in the a** like Karma.
I had always treated people like toys.
When they got boring, I threw them away.
I got better ones.
I would then break the new ones.
And I would throw them away.
And then I ran out of people willing to be my so called friends.
But I didn't really want new ones at that point.
It was all useless.
It was all pointless.
Nothing was enough anymore.
And now I sit here.
Giving not excuses.
Gaining no sympathy.
I don't want it anyway, you can keep it.

Do I have your attention?
Do I have you ******** attention now?

I sense there's something in the wind.
That seems like tragedy's at hand.
And though I'd like to stand by him...
Can't shake this feeling that I have.
The worse is just around the bend.
And does he notice my feelings for him?
And will he see how much he means to me?
I think it's not to be.

What will become of my dear friend?
Where will his actions lead us then?
Although I'd like to join the crowd in their enthusiastic cloud...
Try as I may, it doesn't last.
And will we ever end up together?
No, I think not.
It's never to become, for I am not the one.

And will we ever end up together?
No, I think not.
It's never to become, for I am not the one.

God, I'm going to Florida on thursday and it's going to suck a**! The same things are going to go wrong just like on the last three trips down there. Me and my brother are going to fight. My cousin Sam is going to get into a huge fight with my brother. My mom is also going to get into a fight with him. My dad will too. My brother is the main problem.
And man I hate the beach. My hatred of said beach started with those ******** jelly fish! The attacked me and my mom. You could ******** read brail on my legs because of the stings. And the sand is all sticky and the sun. My god, the sun! I get the worse burns ever! I look like a lobster. And then there are those little fish that like to bite your feet. The seaweed brushes across you legs and feels like spiderwebs, only thicker. And then I'm always afraid of sharks.
My family wants me to go in the ocean with them and I'm like "Hell no!" but they just wont listen.

Oh, golly gee...
What to write about...

Lets start with the fact (just to make sure you dont talk to me about it), I HATE ANIME. It makes me want to slit my wrists, drink rat poison, and curl up into a ball waiting for the poison to shrival my insides in to black nothingness and watch my blood pool out beneath me.

Maybe that's a little harsh.
Maybe not.

Anyway, I'm only here cause my friend Liz, excuse me, Elly, as she prefers to be called, wanted me to come here.

Later