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I'm moving in a year, right after this echool year. There was a guy that I liked and he liked me back. we both waited for each otehr at dissmissal to walk out together every day, and this was sooo sweet but he gave me a valentines day present. that was like, signed, Love, *****. I didn't even knw htat he liked me till then. this was in fifth grade. but after fifth grade, our houses got split up (houses are like bigger classes, the split up the grade into 2 groups) so we couldn't talk to each other that much anymore.. and if i tried to talk to him, well he always had his friends with him, so they'd like make fun of us. but i kept trying, (oh yeah, i didnt' knwo i was moving then.) then after like a month of sixth grade, he started to hang out with like a lot of girls, and like, flirting with them. so, i saw that, and thought, well, that's how guys are. so i let it go. and a year went by, now we were in 7th grade. He had a girlfriend. I heard that they hooked up over the summer. I was devastated. I thought abotu him for sooo long. and now, he had jsut left me in the dark. Through all this I had a sort of friend, his name is ****. He always helped me out, nad we had a lot in common. I had a feelign that he liked me, and i sort of liked him too, but i ignored that because I was too heart-broken about *****. So, after like, a week of depressing 7th gradem one of *****'s friends asked me out. Of course I said, "No." That guy that asked me out was one of my sort of friends too, and that was it, just a friend. I cant go out anyway. My parents say not until college. ( I know, WOW...) so, that was that. One day after the guy asked me out, ***** broke up w/ his gf, and asked me out. I didnt' know what to say. I mean, a YEAR of ignoring me, and getting a GF, and then jsut asking me out???? I was like, "Huh?" so, even if my parents had let me, I said no. I jsut didnt' knw owhat to do. Wanna hear something funny? The day after he asked me out, he went back to dating his old GF. ONE DAY!!! *getting angry*
Anyways, from that 'event' I decided to jsut forget about him.
He still tries to talk to me. Like, when I walk inthe hallways, our eyes match, and he tries to say hi, but I jsut look away. He hurt me BAD. But I'm not hte kind of person to hold onto a grudge, so after a VERY hard month of depression and stuff, I got better. So, the rrest of 7th grade seemed to jsut fly by. Oh yes, remember that sort of friend that was always there for me? In 7th grade, we had ALL of our classes together. ALL OF THEM. It was sort of creepy. Lols. So, he made me laugh, I made him laugh, nad we noticed that we had a lot of stuff together, Like:
*WE both LOVE to draw. (Usually anime, but we're both good at real arts too. We're both in Advanced Placement.)(we used to like, compare our drawings. )
"Look at this, doesn't it look sooo cool?"
"Tss, no. Mine rocks compared to yours."
"Shut up! You're so mean, u can clearly tell that mine actually looks like him/her/it."
and on and on. *smiles after remembering the memories*
We both love sports.(he's actually good at all if it, especially tennis. and me...eh... soccer,basketball, and swimming is it for me sweatdrop )
*We have like, the same personality. Shy, and outgoign at once. that is a very unique personality, and we both have it *^^*
*Wer'e both NICE. We talk to all kinds of people. not like ,stay in a group of friends. if a nerd drops his books, we would help him, without a single doubt.*smiles*
Differences:
*He is 'popular'. Man, i hate that word. (oh, but not like, the stupid, flirty, kind. Like, when I see him with his friends, he's always smiling or laughing, nad stuff...*smiles*)
*I am...hmm... I dunno, like the peacemaker? I have friends from Jocks to nerds.Everyone at school; is like my best friend sweatdrop well, except for hte bitchy ex-friends, that for some reason, feel like spreading rumors about me, nad talk abotu me mehimd my back, and hate me.
So. The conflict. I'm moving. I started to like **** from the end of 7th grade. Know y? HE sort of confessed that he liked me. At hte last day of school, whe, we were signing yearbooks, he wrote a sweet message on my book, to like, you know... dont forget him, and stuff liek that.So over the summer, I spent most my time dreaming abotu him and stuff.
So.now, its current time. I'm in 8th grade. I have a crush on ****, and I am heart-broken once more. I've never liked someone like ****. You know those songs that go like, 'you were there all along, but I couldn't see...' this was like that. But the sad thing is, we dont' have any classes together this year. like, we say hi to each other in the hallways, and like, smile. and sometiems he comes onto my bus to go to a place for tennis practice. those are the on'y times that i can actually talk to him. the first day that he and i actually talked this year, he like, had planned to show me the drawings that he had done over hte summer. He started bragging about them ,and how great they were, jsut like fifth grade. I jsut stared silently at his face, as he talked on and on. I was jstu so happy, nad my heart felt so weird. No words to explain that. So, today he was on my bus again. He asked me if i was really moving. I had told ONE person, and it had spread out throughout the whole school. I didnt' want that to happen, becuase maybe I wouldnt' move. (I dont' want to...) I felt so sad. I spent like an hour crying after my dad told me. becuase it was the summer htat i had fallen in love with HIM. I didn't know waht to do. My dad had mentioned abotu moving b4, but i didn't care abotu it, because ***** had broken me, nad I jsut wanted to leave. but after all those monthes of recovery, and meeting HIM, i couldn't jsut let go of it all. and my friends that had helped me out when i was heart broken. jsut one joke from them could help me, and it did. I cried. I cried so hard.
...*I'm srry, I'm crying now.*
DO ANY OF YOU KNWO WHAT IT'S LIKE TO JSUT BREAK AWAY FROM SOMETHING THAT IS JSUT STARTING TO BLOSSOM? So, this is my life right now. When I'm not thinking about moving, I jsut smile, laugh, and talk to HIM, like the old Rachel(my real name.) but when my parents like surf the internet, and decide trips to other places, my heart drops down into my feet. My parents's hearts already left ******** (my home city) Oh god, my dad's friend is here right now, he's from Boston. They're talking about like, the price of houses and stuff in Boston. *I'm crying* It's not fair. My FIRST love won't even last 2 years. I'm srry to bring you down with this. it's jsut...I need to jsut write this down, and...my head hurts, i can't write anymore. People, distress is not what jsut happens to otehr people. It ve nhappens to me. I had to move away from my BEST FRIENd from Korea, when I was 7. I cried. Now I have to leave my school, ALL of my friends, and my first love... Be thankful, friends. Be thankful...
 e m o i x - o · Sat Oct 13, 2007 @ 02:38am · 4 Comments |
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