View User's Journal

Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

lunchtime breakdown.
....3/18/09.
........1st lunch.
............I finally snap.
................In public.

People won't leave me alone.

They would ignore me.
....Not ignore.
........Not pay attention, though.
I break down at lunch.
....People talk.
........What's wrong with her?
............What happened?
................She must miss Aaron.
....................Is it my fault?
........................It's my fault, I know it.
Tap, tap, tap on the shoulder.
....LEAVE ME ALONE!
........You did it so easily before.
............LEAVE ME ALONE!
I'm crying.
....Is she okay?
........Kayla?
............Kayla?
................Are you okay?
Need to hide.
....Hide in my hair.
........Fold into myself.
............Disappear.
But I'm still visible.
....So visible.
........Even more visible than before.
............Spot light on me.
Everyone talks.
....LEAVE ME ALONE!
........It's not your fault.
............It's all your fault.
Nothing's wrong.
....Everything's wrong.
........Every little thing.
............Is wrong.
Can't speak.
....Only tears.
........And squeaks.
............And squeals.
................Like an animal.
I'm an animal.
....And blind.
........Glasses on the table.
............Eye sight fogged by tears.
Everyone's gone.
....But I'm right here.
........Everyone's really there.
............Not gone.
Staring at me.
....Whispering.
........Talking.
............Shouting.
Are you okay?
....LEAVE ME ALONE!
........Only, it's a squeak.
............Or squeal.
................Or both.
If I wasn't here
....Things would be better,
........They scream.
............They.
................Them.
....................In my head.

They're always right.

Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

More Information