HOLY!!! 3 years since i posted last!! wow O.O well 1st off I've changed ALOT! Been through the school of hard knocks a few times but things are looking up! I now view the world with more positive eyes and even better, I LOVE MYSELF FOR WHO I AM! xD
Now onto whats currently on my mind (clears throat)
I practically grew up with my 7 cousins and since mom died in 03 that's no longer a reality. I just saw them last night for the 1st time in years and i wrote this 2day after work. I was at my cousin's stagg & doe.
No title yet but if i get one I'll add it later!
It was quite evident in that room last night that you missed me. you 3 were the only ones to acknoledge it out of us 8.
I have no problem with us 8 because u wern't involved with what happened long ago. i miss you all. I feel so left out of
the loop. We were 8 no more when year 1 came around. But in that room, we were only 4. I miss the hockey games and even
the teasing. I miss the way Your friend use to pretend to flirt with me even thoough he is 8 years my senior. I miss
the laughs & stories we would share at christmas and easter. I miss the feeling of knowing you were all always there. I
miss watching all of us grow up as a group. Now we grow up in seperate lives. I miss the way you would play with me when I
was a little girl and I miss the way you all made me feel like a cousin and in a way, like a sister. A death tore us apart
but it's over now. I know how much you all miss her. I miss her too. Is it because I look like her or act like her or is it
because my very presence brings up memories of her you thought you had forgotten because they were too painful that you stay
away? Don't let that be why you stay away. You're all more than welcome to cry on my shoulder about it if you need to. My
grieving for her is done but I am more that willing to support you while you continue to and begin to heal from yours.
Your family motto is Semper fildelis, always faithful. By following the elders and staying away even though you'd rather
be near is not being faithful to yourselves. My heart is aching for us to be 8 once more and i know deep down, you all are
too. The only thing stopping you all is, are you willing to try? I am and I always have been. Will you rise up and join me?
There's more than enough room for you all to join. Let's not leave anyone behind any more. We all left eachother behind
but ther is still time for us all to fix that. This is hurting all of us weather we realize it or not so let's do the right
thing and start all over again because I know deep down you all want to. I do too. I want to feel like a family again
and I know you all can't with out me. Don't let your parents's issues with my dad from the past hinder you. They can deal
with that on their own. It's just us 8 and no one else.
 SilentSaturn91 · Sun Mar 14, 2010 @ 10:29pm · 0 Comments |
