crying
This entry is basically my only way to express my feelings, and I'm too much of a nerd to use a diary. So let me begin... It was janurary of.. oh just kidding. It was 5 days ago (sunday) and my boyfriend broke up with me. I stress this becasue we dated for a year and 8 months, he was my first boyfriend, and I'm extremly confused. His reasoning was that he doesn't love me anymore. But I just don't understand how someone could stop loving you. As much as I'd like to believe his feelings truly faded, it hurts. The worst part is he still wants to be my friend and even flirts with me still. One second I'm completely fine with it even happy to know he's happy and I get to start over fresh and feel free. Then the next I feel all alone, with no one to talk to, and even still feel like we're dating. I strongly dislike the mixed emotions and wish there was something I could do to make them stop. There's always stop talking to him but of course not. He broke up with me and thus I still love him. It'd be crazy to break up with him. He's my best friend and if I have to make him believe I'm happy with the desicion and am over him every day until I AM over him then it's worth it. Cause he's just that nice. Of course, many people think, if he dumped you then he's not that nice, but they need to understand I wouldn't want to be in a relation ship with someone I only cared for and not loved. Although it's true I do believe there was another reason: mostly along the lines of either he thinks I'm holding him back from being with his friends or joining the Armys or forcing him to go to college, but I care for him like he cares for me. In the end I guess my best option is to support him, help him through his continous few months of ongoing confusion toward his life goals, find a girl who was better then I (okay yeah right.. uhhh nah! xD lol), and stick around and wait for him to finally realize he despretaly needs me in his life and I'm the only girl for him. whee Okay, that was a joke and purely for amusment incase someone actually does decide to read this. xd SO this concludes my rant of pure confusion developed with the breaking of my heart by my overdramaticly fantsized, soul mate of a boyfriend: Aaron.
Worse part: Always having the feeling of 'What if?'
Best Adequate part: He's happy (not so much me).
 Rinoa Caraway-Heartilly · Sat May 28, 2011 @ 06:44am · 0 Comments |
