In this family I am considered a "Good Girl." Why? Because I try not to show my true face to other people? I keep my true voice locked within not to be released to the outer public. I go to school most of the time and when I'm not depressed or anything my grades aren't that bad.
However I didn't chose to talk about myself, no that's not true in a way I did. I want to somehow voice what I can't say with my real voice. I want to put all I can down on writing so I know that it was real.
I was born August 11th 1989 to Lisa A. Dunfee and Jeffery P. Dunfee. I almost killed my mother whom is a type one diabetic. A C-Section was performed on her so she wouldn't die. I can't remember the illness I gave her, if I understand correctly I was damaging her womanly parts and it was killing her. I was a healthy baby, unlike my brother who is two years my senior. His name was Joshua R. Dunfee, thirteen days after his birth he died. I forget sometimes that he ever existed. I say I'm his sister and yet I don't even know he existed after the time. Such a selfish person I really am.
My birth name was Kassandra Nichole Dunfee. Funny story about my name my mother wanted to name me Nichole however my father disagreed saying that if they were to do that then I would be called 'Nikki' and become a whore. So they chose that as my nickname. When they chose the name Cassandra it was orignally suppose to be a 'C.' However my father said that it would sound black if I was called that. So they decided to use a 'K' instead of the 'C.' My family is a racist family I'll be the first to admit that. We don't give African Amercians, Mexicans, and Homosexual people the respect they deserve. I don't know about Arabins yet.
No, that's not exactly true, we will be straight and polite to your face but when your back is to us then our mouths shall open and s**t will just spill out from it. As for myself, I find myself thinking it and at times actually saying it. I can blame it on my family, but really we are conditioned this way. I don't know if it's too late for me however I know that my thoughts on Racism is weaker than the rest of my family. So if I carry on my DNA to the next generation I am sure that my children will not carry as much Racism as I do now.
If you have noticed a tend I do go off of topic quite a bit, whatever comes to mind I just write. I need this so I'll contiue.
My mother and raised me together until I was four. I don't remember much about being that age. What I remember is seldom memories that I could be confusing with the other time.
 Tennyo Akana · Wed May 30, 2007 @ 01:18pm · 1 Comments |
