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It's not fine. We're not ok...it's more then a bit silly to post this on a ******** open journal, but I type faster then I write, so here goes...cryptically of course.

There is elegance in simplicity, and there is nothing simple about my family. The only ones that remotely get along are me and my dad...and even that can be a bit sketchy. Other than that, it's a ******** battle royal at our house.

I'm going to say this here, but don't bother asking me any other time...I won't answer, especially not in person, so don't even try me. I have always wanted a little girl, you know, a baby girl, but I would rather have a hysterectomy then ever give birth because I'm afraid I'm going to be like my mother...and my mother's mother...you know...horrible mothers. I hate it when people come over and say " I like your mother, you have really good parents" or some other such bullshit. I'm so scared that I'm like her, it's not even funny. The only memories I have of her in my childhood are her constantly screaming at my sister and me. It's a bit of a Ya Ya complex I suppose....except SiddaLee at least knew Vivi loved her.

No one in my family is happy...not one...except maybe the dog. I sat outside with him trying to figure out why he was smiling, when noone else can.