I just got in a car crash a couple of hours ago... I'm still shaking from head to toe... It was so scary, and worst of all I was responsible for it. I was going to blockbuster and was parking the car, but when I tried to brake, the brakes wouldn't respond. So the car kept going forward and smashed into the window. It wasn't anything big but I was so freaking scared. Good thing I was wearing my seat belt. Good thing my mom and aunt were wearing their seat belts. Oh God I really want to cry right now. I was trying so hard to keep calm and although I did a good job in front of everyone, I was having a really big inner-conflict. The police officer was nice and all but I couldn't help but wanting to shout at him, tell him to be harsh and to scream. My aunt was trying to calm me down although I appeared calm and it just made me feel worse. I hate it when people tell me what I already know because I become anxious and it does me no good. I can just see my dad's face when he comes back from work tomorrow. He's gonna be so pissed. But I honestly don't care. My pride is hurt and that's the worst thing for me. I haven't even started driving in Dr.'s Ed. my first lesson's on Tuesday. What am I going to tell my teacher? "Oh yeah, I got in a car crash a couple of days ago. You don't want me driving." God I feel so bad, I don't want to drive anymore. But these kind of things happen right? So I'm gonna have to drive some other time anyways... It doesn't change how I'm feeling right now. I really need a hug. For a second back there I thought my mom was gonna yell at me, and I knew she was mad but she didn't say anything. I'm such a failure... This morning I promised myself I will have a clean driving record... and look at what happened. Oh well, we can't change the past but we can fix our future. I just wish I could've been more careful. I knew I shouldn't drive but I did anyways, convincing myself I was a good driver. Guess I'm not... Everything's just going from bad to worse in my life. I really wish a tiny ray of sunshine will break through my cloudy sky. And you know what else? We didn't even get a chance to rent any movies.
 Annabella Goddess Of Ice · Mon Jun 04, 2007 @ 07:46am · 1 Comments |
