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I titled my Freshman Social Studies project that. Then I realized that my teacher was an overly-sensitive Beatles lookalike, and that I would fail if I turned it in. So he never saw that project, and I'm still sitting here looking at my diploma- it's all good.

The sheer number of people whose opening line on the Welcome board is "I ******** dogs and please don't judge me" or "I ******** ten-year-olds and please don't judge me" is absolutely insane. It really makes me worry for the future of the world. My favorite one by far, though is, "I do [absolutely sick thing] and I don't care what anybody thinks. Now discuss it, please." Comedic genius, that. Thing is, I know that not all of these people are just attention whores. Websites like this one attract that kind of person for some weird reason, and quite frankly the number that show up is just absurd.

So I'll say it right now: don't ******** dogs. Don't ******** ten-year olds. If you really have to, at least don't tell me about it. PLEASE.