All about Reves
There are many things about myself that I sitll do not know. I'm not sure what I like and I do thinks I no longer understand. Is it a force of habit? Perhaps or maby just a weak confort I provide myself. Everyday I wake up to the same thing. It's all repetitive, going round and round inside my head; thinking the same thoughts tirelessly. There's a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, is it regreat? Anticipation? Might just be, or it's just because I haven't eaten recently. The face in the mirror isn't like the ones ive seen over the years. This face is apathetic with shorter hair. The eyes are always a diffrent color. Dark tresses fall in my eyes as I watch the girl in the mirror smirk as I shake my head. "your not me!" is it her smirking or me? Does she deny being me just as I deny being her?
Everyday is a new day filled with new experiences, but to me, I live the same day over and over again. The same repetitive movements, I look for some stars, drink coffe, write somthing, listen to loud music, go to work, play mindless games and ramble on to myself. I am me, there's nothing more to it than that. I'm an author, an actory, a poet, a daughter, friend, lover, sister, and everything I need to be. I go through the same storyline but mess up a little more. It's not my fault; I never meant to make anyone cry. No tear should be shead over my mistakes. I'll fix them in the end. Just a little at a time. So im proce to make mistakes. Everyone does at one time or another. The impact just hits me later and harder. However I get by, doing the things I've done all my life; getting ready for the future that crawls closer every passing day. I stay here awaiting somthing that may very well pass me by. Is it love? That I would await somthing so follish as love is not impossible. It could be that all this time I've been waiting, the answe has been staring me in the face; Waiting for me to notice the truth that it holds. Who knows? Maybe my wait is comming to a close soon.
March 16 2007
