Sucky a** day...not the worst though...oh no very far from it...enough to reawaken my stupid depression though...
I finally realized that whenever I get that empty hurting feeling its actually a mental breakdown...only I dont show it like most people I suppose...I dont know...I'm just so screwed up I cant tell anymore...
after talking with "her" I realized what it was about her that irked me...she kept saying she cared...but she didnt...no matter how many times she said it she wouldnt help me any...she just left me out to rot or made it worse...
on top of that she used me as an ego booster whenever she liked...which ultimately led to my self-esteem points being in the negatives I think...I suppose thats not being fair though...blaming everything on one person...it comes down to being my fault after all...I shouldnt have survived that fire...I should have died years ago...why didnt I?
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