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Note that this was taken from a funny as hell video that was deleted.And now the moment you've been waiting for ever since you read the title-the moment where I shut the hell up and you read the story!


Chapter 1:Meet Shadow

*scene is set to Shadow sitting on a statue in the rain*

Shadow:I am Shadow,the ultamite hedgehog.I am the most advanced,civilized,awesome,fastest,and most intelligent life form on the planet.And I use all of my super skills to be talking to myself,and be emo about my tragic story.It all happened but a few days ago...

*scene changes to Shadow sitting on a log holding a gun*

Shadow:My past...who am I?I must find out my past!But instead of going out to investigate and asking people about it,I just sit here,cutting myself deeper and deeper,awaiting for the tooth fairy to come and tell me.

*Black Doom teleports in*

BD:Haha!I'm a generic villian.And I demand that you,Shadow,bring me all de chaos emeralds!Den I will tell you your past.

Narrator:So I said "Ok,".The problem is that after that,I met the hyper blue hedgehog,Sonic.


Chapter 2:Meet Sonic

*scene:Shadow is going down the road,and a crazy-looking sonic jumps in front of him*

Sonic:WOOHOO!!!OH YEAH!I'M RAD TO THE MAX!DRUGS ARE UNCOOL!SHADOW DUDE,LET'S DANCE!COWABUNGA!

Narrator:And sometime later,the big one formed himself like an octopus to follow me around.Sometimes I felt like the unsure guy with a devil on one side,and a little angel on the other.

*the chicken dance song starts playing*

BD:*wearing devil horns and holding a pitchfork*KILL KILL KILL,KILL KILL KILL.

Sonic:FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN

BD:KILL KILL

Sonic:FUN FUN

Narrator:Well at least it was different.Most of the other ones just stood there and let me do all the work.

Rouge:*relaxing in a lawn chair*The president hired me to defeat all aliens,so DO IT!And do me laundry!And...

Shadow:Why does everyone think I'm a delivery boy?!

*Sonic is seen putting up a poster with a badly drawn Shadow the hedgehog.The messag reads...*

Poster:I am the ultamite life form!Yet instead of being president of the universe...I actually do all your chores!EMOOOOOOO!!!!!
So call Shadow today!

*scene changes to many damages buildings,and a soldier standing nearby*

General:Base troops assemble!This is a code red!Repeat a code red!This is not a drill!I repeat,THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!

*scene changes to two soldiers,one in a lawn chair,one on a walkie-talkie.Buildings in the background are falling.*

Soldier 1:Uh-huh...yeah...yeah...uh-huh...ok.Hey Jim!

Soldier 2:Huh,what?

Soldier 1:Cheif just called us.Seems this is not a drill.

Soldier 2:Not a drill?So all these dead people and crumbling buildings aren't background props?!

Soldier 1:...No.

Soldier 2: Oh...darn.

*scene changes to Shadow walking with Black Doom following him.*

BD:Shadow,you can jump on trampolines.Press B to flip over cars.Collecting rings will give you...rings...OH LOOK!A DIME!

Shadow razz lease...shut up!

Sonic:Hey Shadow!

Shadow:What do you want?!

Sonic:If you press A,you jump,and if you kill innocent people,it will give you dark powers to stop the time!

Shadow:Is that all you needed to say?

Sonic:Yep!Later!*runs away*

Shadow:Facinating...ah!There's the first chaos emerald!*goes over to the emerald*

BD biggrin at is not our mission Shadow.Da chaos emerald is already secured!You must kill all gun soldiers first!

Shadow:The deal was I give you the chaos emeralds right?SO,here you go!

*silence*

BD:Traitor!You failed your mission!*flies off*

Shadow:Huh?!

Chapter 3:Meet the commander.

*scene is set to the G.U.N headquarters*

Commander:Grr.We have to clean up this mess now.*grabs a flicky and eats it*

Soldier 1:Sir,is something wrong?

Commander:Uh-huh.I feel evil everywhere soldier.And trust me!I know how to recognize it.*eats another flicky*

Soldier 2:*walks in*Sir!Our spys reported a black hedgehog with the terrorists!

Commander:WHAT?!*grabs a coathanger and shakes it*YOU WILL DESTROY THIS HEDGEHOG AT ALL COSTS.UNDERSTAND?!

Soldier 2:Sir,you're uh...talking to a coat holder...

Commander:*looks over at soldier and drops coathanger*SCREW YOU!!!!*picks up the soldier and tosses him out the window,onto a pile of other dead soldiers*
*picks up the coat hanger again*
Ok soldier coathanger,you go kill that black hedgehog,understand?Kill the black hedgehog.UNDERSTAND?!DAMN YOU PRIVATE COATHANGER!!!!*throws the coathanger out the window and eats a flicky that looks like a person.the screen goes red and changes to some ancient ruins*

Shadow biggrin amn!Where am I?I hope it's an emptyness where my pain will vanish with my love,that'll doom my brain and shatter all the peices...OH YEAH!I REMEMBER!I'm in this..uh...aztec place with all the jumps.heh.Better get going.

BD:Shadow!Who you talking to?So even though I just fired you for bein a traitor,here's your next mission.The sky ruins,protected by that BLASTED Knuckles,is the place where my four main generators are.Once they are activated,a sheild will protect us.The generators are in each of the rooms gaurded by my best men.You have to go and activate the generators.Any questions?

Shadow:I've got a few questions for ya.First of all,wasn't I just supposed to get the emeralds?

BD:Uhhhh....

Shadow:Second,those are your men right?

BD:Jup.

Shadow:Gaurding all four generators?

BD:Uh-huh.

Shadow:You are in contact with your men?

BD:Correct.

Shadow:So uh...couldn't you just ASK YOU DAMN MEN TO ACTIVATE THE GENERATORS?!THEY'RE STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO THEM ALREADY FOR DAMN SAKE!They activate the generators,and I continue looking for the chaos emeralds.Whats that for a plan huh?

BD:...Hmm facinating question.Now GO!

Shadow:RAAH!DAMNIT!*runs away*

Chapter 4:Meet Knuckles

*Shadow is running through the ruins and is knocked down by Knuckles*

Knuckles:Hey Shadow!Look!Enemies,enemies ahead!Lets kick some butts!AAAAAAH!

Shadow:Grrrr....

Knuckles:*knocks Shadow down*Come on Shadow!Kill them all!*punches a few aliens*Shadow behind you!

Shadow:Uh ok.

Knuckles:*kills all remaining aliens alone*Great job Shadow!*runs away*

BD:Shadow!You betrayed me again!You will pay for dis!*flies off*

Knuckles*puts 5 of the enemies heads on a pole*We are such a good team!Oh look,a tornado destroying everything on it's path!*a vicious tornado is shown,and Knuckles runs right into it*Wheeee!!!

Shadow:Well...I'll just continue saying emo stuff to myself.Oh the agony.Why hast thou betrayed thy me?

Chapter 5:Meet Amy.

*Shadow is alking through Eggman's castle*

Shadow:Even though I'm neither doing the hero mission,nor the dark mission...I'm still on a quest for salvation.The salvation of my doomed existance.

Amy:Oh Shadow!Finally your here!

Shadow:Yes,its TOTALLY not a huge coincidence we accidentaly run into each other out in the middle of nowhere!

Amy:Cream and I were walking through the woods one day,then we saw this big scary castle,and Cream wanted to go there alone so I told her,"Yeah,why not?".But she didn't come back!Please my friend,help me!

Shadow:...Friends?!We spoke to each other twice!

*Amy and Shadow walk across a bridge*

Narrator:Yet again,Amy had persuaded me into doing something good,so I was on the case.

Amy:Hmm,I think we must go...this way!*points in the only direction they can go*

Shadow:Uhhh...*contiunes walking through*

*a clown is seen on a ball*

Shadow:I KNOW THIS ONE!If I touch it,it'll explode!So I just have to be caref...*get shoved away by Amy*

Amy:Hey look!Its a clown on a balloon.*smashes it with hammer*

Clownbot:*explodes on impact*

Shadow:*gets a faceful of soot*

Amy:*flies through the air from the shockwaves of explosion*WHEEE-*crashes through a wall*

Shadow biggrin arn it!Why don't her clothes burn off?That'd be cool.*chuckles*

Cream:Oh,thank you Shadow.

Shadow:HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN THERE?

Cream:Well,I was with Cheese when...

*flashback*

Cream:Look Cheese!Lets go this way! Lalalalala...

*end flashback*

Cream:Huh...its seems that an unreferred-to villian locked me up then built a wall to lock me up for no reason.

Shadow:Uh ok.

Cream:Shadow,Cheese is still missing.Help him please.

Amy:Maybe hes under this random rock.*lifts the rock,Cheese flies out*

Cream:Cheese!*Amy accidently drops the rock on Cheese*CHEESE!

Eggman:Hey,hello there partner.

Shadow:EGGMAN!

*scene changes back to Shadow sitting on a statue in the rain*

Narrator 2:And so,the story became so intenese,Shadow became too upset to go on with the story.And so,we continue this collection of random stuff that hardly feels like a movie another time.