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Mind of a Shadow
I'm not famous...but some people for an odd reason want to know a little bit about me... In time perhaps all will be revealed
Interlude...

Well...it seems the first woman my heart ever fluttered for...has finally been tracked somewhat. You see...the first woman I ever felt drawn to was named Janine Humphries. She and I went to school together since Kindergarten. I still remember how she had wonderful finger paintings....eheh. Our last names had close spelling, so we always sat next to each other. By sixth grade we had a pretty decent friendship. I was just a shy corner lad, while she was growing to be vibrant and beautiful, but also so smart! We graduated top of our class and junior high was a breeze. It was then however that, as typical in society's youth, cliques began to run rampant. Ahh good old '96-'97. For So. Cal it was rise of thugs, both mexican and wannabe mexican, for the guys...and the resurgence of makeup wielding valley girls. Janine and I drifted apart...I was an intellectual among riff raff, and she was a genius among beauty queens. Life molded us and we went separate ways...not even seeing each other again until junior year of high school. She changed completely then. My God she was gorgeous...developed beautifully in every way imaginable...or maybe it was just my infatuation. At the same time, however, time with the wrong crew lessened her mind. I left the Honors program of my own accord..but she...she DROPPED into my regular classes. In English we tried to rekindle some sort of fire. We talked...flirted...but it just wasn't there. Lonely as I've been all my life, she was just no longer my type. Regrets? No. Though I sometimes do wonder of what could've been. She disappeared again...not even present at the graduation ceremony. I would hear stories of parental abuse and her forcefully fleeing to be on her own. Janine, I thought of you always but I never thought to pray for you, so caught up in mixed feelings. Janine became my hope that there was someone out there for me, my heart can love...and so it has. I'm in love with Suzie now partially because of how my time with Janine opened my mind to such capabilities. Else I might have died alone. God will send people to you, sometimes just the experience you have or things you learn pay off much later.

Anyway I ran into an old contact from high school not long ago. Out of curiosity I inquired about Janine. As far as I know she is still alive, thank God. In fact, she fled her home in Cali to go to New York to become an actress. As far as can be known it didn't work out for her right away, and she was last seen in 2002 shacking up with our ex high school valedictorian Diana Zepeda near NYU. She struggles to survive and I can only assume is attending college there. Three years pass without any further knowledge, but my heart rests confident that she continues to make it. God Bless you, Janine Humphries, I hope you've found someone who realizes what a star you really are.





 
 
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