"The easiest way to avoid living is to just watch."
I love the way I make myself seem like some kind of miserable little heap of self-centered sorrow.
I love the way I pass judgment on myself like everyone's not doing it for me.
I love my paranoid obsession with the thought that everyone I've ever met hates my guts.
I honestly love the person I've become.
I'm lonely and my guilt is eating me alive.
Which essentially just means that absolutely nothing is new.
Never have I suffered through such an abusive relationship as the one I have with my mind.
That's quite a statement when I look back at my past relationships. Still accurate though.
Speaking of relationships, I miss Nathan.
He's in college and living across town three days a week.
On top of that, I still don't remember how to talk to people five weeks into school.
But I love it. I love never being part of anything or anyone except Nathan.
I love the detachment I feel when I'm with my peers.
The feeling I have when I'm at my lowest is such a refreshing one.
I honestly believe that I've grown to find comfort in my sadness.
People watching is never very fun, however, without someone to watch with you.
So I miss Nathan.
I love him.
I wish I knew why everyone hated me so much.
And why no one ever wants to talk to me.
And why people are afraid to talk to me.
I wish I knew why I am so empty.
I feel so guilty.
“The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly.”
I love the way I make myself seem like some kind of miserable little heap of self-centered sorrow.
I love the way I pass judgment on myself like everyone's not doing it for me.
I love my paranoid obsession with the thought that everyone I've ever met hates my guts.
I honestly love the person I've become.
I'm lonely and my guilt is eating me alive.
Which essentially just means that absolutely nothing is new.
Never have I suffered through such an abusive relationship as the one I have with my mind.
That's quite a statement when I look back at my past relationships. Still accurate though.
Speaking of relationships, I miss Nathan.
He's in college and living across town three days a week.
On top of that, I still don't remember how to talk to people five weeks into school.
But I love it. I love never being part of anything or anyone except Nathan.
I love the detachment I feel when I'm with my peers.
The feeling I have when I'm at my lowest is such a refreshing one.
I honestly believe that I've grown to find comfort in my sadness.
People watching is never very fun, however, without someone to watch with you.
So I miss Nathan.
I love him.
I wish I knew why everyone hated me so much.
And why no one ever wants to talk to me.
And why people are afraid to talk to me.
I wish I knew why I am so empty.
I feel so guilty.
“The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly.”
Community Member