Greg asked me what I wanted for my birthday this year...Nothing, I guess...No, there is something...Maybe...I would just like to disappear...Or to not exist...
But I just said, "Surprise me."
There are no surprises in my life anymore...I don't really expect anything anymore except for disappointment.
No one ever buys me flowers...I was thinking of sending them to myself just to feel special...but how special could that be anyway?
I think if I could, I would like to grow Bird of Paradise...if it wasn't so cold on the East Coast, and if I didn't have the bad luck of killing every houseplant that's ever crossed my path...They're just so beautiful...When was the last time I received those flowers? I think my grandmother gave me a bouquet with Bird of Paradise in it when I graduated high school, maybe 5 or 6 years ago...
If only I could wake up to a vase of them beside my bed...
But I don't expect any surprises anymore...
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