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i have too many random thoughts, so that's why this is the second entry tongiht.
alright. i dont' really tell my friends about too much of my family life because i'm not one for drama (or at least i try not to be, if i am, friends that see me in real life, tell me)
my uncle has been going through a tough financial situation (for, oh, ten years?) yeah, i know. and it's really getting to my grandparents and at one point, my mom. This, ultimatly, affected my sister and i because, my mom became very hostile and even began an argument on how greatful we should be to her...because i didn't pick up the phone when it rang. but that's another story. i started realizing that whenever my mom started talking about their situation, i began to like them less and less. i started to feel pity on my family because it was becomeing an embaressment. i even started to pity myself (i hate self pity, so i also became a bit emo and started hating myself) because i thought of how bad the situation was.
and then something else struck my mind. couldn't things be so much worse? couldn't my unlce be homeless (or worse, living with us) or my grandparents be dead instead of miserable. and then i wondered: what would be worse, to know that my unlce, grandma, and grandpa are living miserably under one roof, or that my uncle was on the streets and my grandparents dead?
of, course, and suck up i'm sure would say "it's better to have them around" but have you ever been in an "oh, just put them out of their misery" situation?(please don't think i want to kill my grandparents, that would be mean) but if you just saw them. and saw how bitchy they were to eachother and, ina sense, waiting to die becausethey knwo that's their only financial freedom, wouldn't you feel bad for them?
i try to think of how lucky we are. (and we are VERY lucky) but i also wonder:
is it more sad to have awsome grandparents die, or to have grandparents you once loved suffer day after day after day?
 Qua Quidam · Thu Nov 15, 2007 @ 03:52am · 0 Comments |
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