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Life's gifts and sorrows...

The things in life that seem to just pop into my head. My third personality at its best. Everything written is all opinion from my perspective, as someone with a childish spirit and hidden thoughts.

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Light headed, Heavy Hearted For the last week or so, I've felt really weird. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's 'cause I watched Full Moon wo Sagashite. But I really don't know if that has any connection to how I've been feeling lately. I haven't been sad, and not particularly happy. All I could do was think all week. If something were to have happened, how would things be different? I miss all the people I've lost. I thought things would be slightly different after my Grandpa's funeral two-three weeks ago. When I went to school on Monday, the day when I found out he was gone, all I wanted to do was cry. While he was in the hospital, I knew he wasn't going to live much longer. But, I kept praying that he would at least live until Christmas. That didn't happen, but I think it's because after I prayed, I put it out of my mind so I wouldn't get upset. At school, I laughed it off the whole week, and nobody knew there was a problem. One of my friends, Veronica, is starting to understand who I am. My friends at school have only seen one side of me. The rest is a secret. The fact that I set my mind to understand peoples' deeper thoughts that I believe in some things are hidden. I don't know if I want them to know anything, since they don't even know much about my family or where I live. It's one of those times, where I wish that I went to the same high school as my best friends. Though I've made new friends, none of them could replace what I had before. In fact, even if we had went to the same high school, I don't think I'd regret it. High school's no fun. Not in the least. Lunch time is okay, but not as great as it used to be. Heh... But I'm getting off track. I can't even remember what my point was. sweatdrop Bye old year. I hope that this year ends up a lot better than 2007.

Posted by: Mao-sensei Thu Jan 03, 2008 @ 06:49am

[imgleft:31acb395d7]http://i883.photobucket.com/albums/ac38/domino1978/Animated%20Images/Free_Lumpy_Space_Princess_Icon_by_P.gif[/imgleft:31acb395d7]
Half full or half empty, it's just a lumpin' glass of water! [/color:31acb395d7]

User Comments: [1]

Izumi-Kodo-san
Community Member

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Tue Jan 08, 2008 @ 05:27am

Oh I wish I read this sooner. I'm so sorry that you've been feeling this way. I've felt the pain of loss. it hurts. I kinda did that too.pretended like nothing happened, yet wondered why no one cared. I wanted them to care, but couldn't, because I never really said anything. I miss my friends so much too, all of you, especially you. Even though we fought practically every week or so. my lunch time isn't as fun as it used to be. back in private school, you knew everyone in your class, whether you hated them, loved them, neutral relationship, or were just friends. You could talk to almost everyone, like even though we hated some guys in our class, we still laughed with them, when they did something funny, like the fruitcake club thing. I wish my friends that I have now at school were like you guys, but they're not, they're different. we may not share all of the same memories, but we make some every day. You know we've only really known each other for about 3 years. that's not long, yet we seem like we've known each other forever. but it took time to get like that.

Yes High school does suck, I'm with you on that one, but just like everything else, we gotta live through it to get what's more important, and to maybe get to our dreams and our futures. that sounds really cheesy, but the best things and the right words in life are cheesy. No I don't want all my friends covered in cheese to make them cheesy, not that way....that would be interesting, but as amusing as that sounds, all we gotta do is just live, no one's life is perfect. Plus think of where you are. Not only do you live in the US, you're in California, one of the most popular states, that some people can dream about. You go to a private Catholic school. I know you don't like it, but it's better than Hercules High, right? So it's better to focus on what you have instead of grieving over what you lost, because there are so many other things, just so much more that you could have lost, that no one has ever had.

It's ok to feel sad, and to grieve, but it shouldn't be your main thoughts, it shouldn't control your life. Even if you have strict parents, that you feel like you can't do anything, you still make your own choices about your life that no one else has control over.

As I've said before, I am here for you, if you ever need me. Because you are more than a friend to me you're a part of my life.

User Comments: [1]

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