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And so, my pretties, the time has come for out semi-annual trip to Hartman Creek to canoe the Crystal River.

For those of you who have never seen it, the Crystal River is a long, scenic, winding wet thing that contains more large boulders than water. Hence, one does not so much canoe it as drag one's canoe over it.

The canoes themselves are facsinating. Considering the difficult terrain they must travese, they are constructed not of wood or even aluminum, but of fiberglass and industrial-strength duct-tape.

Ah, yes. the sticky gray rolls prove ever versatile, even in the wild depths of rural Wisconsin.

I now offer a profound apology to Rain-chan, who due to the presence of ye French student will not be able to accompany me this year (not enough room in the car). We have formed many precious memories on that river on past excursions: getting lost, spinning out of control for ten minutes at a time, loosing footwear in the current, nearly colliding with a hornets nest, being 'stalked' by a catfish, getting stranded on a fallen tree for 45 minutes, nearly going off a waterfall, etc. and I sincerly regret that we will not be able to form new ones together this year.

But before I leave, I remind you of several facts that may soothe your just anger, Rain: I will be trapped in a small camper with my FAMILY for THREE DAYS without HEAT, A/C, ELECTRICITY or WATER along with MANY, MANY INSECTS, ARACHNIDS and UNFRIENDLY RACCOONS.

I hope that you will find some comfort in this knowledge.

Hasta luego, folks...