Currently listening to: I Can Barely Breathe by Manchester Orchestra
I no longer have to cry. I no longer have to look down upon myself for the decisions i have made in the past. I have decided, for the last time, that enough was enough. It is not worth it to try and be friends with the person who used me when that was all i was trying to do this entire time. He insisted on pushing me away but i kept coming back. When he said the words of belittling and hurt, I knew he was going to regret it. He comes back to me now, trying to reestablish what we once had. He now realizes that that was all i was trying to do the entire time. I wanted to keep the friendship because we never knew what was to happen in the future. We never knew if things between me and my prince were to not work out or between he and his love.
But it is too late...
If he meant all he was telling me, then he wouldnt have said what he did the last conversation we had together. I have given up on trying to stay connected with him, for i do not wish to be hurt anymore. I have too much in my life going for me and i do not want to ruin. If i were to accept being his friend again, then i am a fool. I would not have learned from my mistakes the last times and i would only be hurting myself. He says it will benefit the both of us, but i do not see how. I only see how he would benefit, but i do not see me. I have all i want in my life now. I have a prince who loves me and cares for me like no other person ever has before. I have a future that, recently, has been slipping away from me, but i am determined to get it back. With this mess finally settled and cleaned up, I can get back to what is most important to me and to what is second most important to me.
The ship between me and him has sailed and it will never come back. No matter how much he may want it, it is too late. We will never be together again.
Minamino Teku · Tue Apr 01, 2008 @ 06:41pm · 2 Comments |