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ok, ill tell the story of why ive been pissed for two days now!
bear with me!(if your reading this)

alrighty, so the people i usually hang out with at skewl are Patrick(my best friend) Elizabeth, his girlfriend, Kt, Scott. and others

so as u kno, im a tennis player, Patrick too!

so, when the whole deal with Pat and Lizabeth started up(thanks to me!)
i was like, Yo Lizanbeth! lets play tennis someday, u me Pat and someother people ok?


SHE SAID NO, i dont play tennis, i tried once, but i suck, so i dont think so.

Alright with me.

HOWEVER!
She went to play tennis with Patrick Kt Alex nicole and Alaura this past sunday!!!!(which iss y am pissed)
WITHOUT ME!

first off, this is not the first time my "friends" have done something liket this with out me, but i always said like: o, well i cant always be with them.....

but this happens too much!

Not only was i not invited, by the person who i thought was my best friend, but the girl that i offered to play with and everyone else, went to play, after she told me she wouldnt go!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i mean, NICOLE AND ALAURA WENT! They arent even good friends of theres!!!(no offense AT ALL, i just mean, its not there usual buddies to go with....i personally love them both!)

so i asked, why did this happen? y not invite Cory?(me foo.....)

i thought at first, maybe i wasnt good enought to play with them....

but then, explain y Lizanbeth, KT and Nicole went......


then i thought, maybe they dont like to hang around me?

but they dont act like that at school......


so i came to the conclusion, that they just didnt think about me!


so, y is it, that Cory, the guy who always sarcrafices his own happiness to make sure others are happy around him, and always keeps others in his thoughts, is never in the thoughts of others??

thinking back to our Saturday class at UCLA for AP bio last month:
i WENT TO ucla with about 3 people, including Patrick. we met up with other classmates, INCLUDING Elizabeth KT and ALex.

so,


i went ahead to the second class, and was gonna meet up with the 9 other friends when they came to the class after!


HOWEVER! i was with 2 other classmates in the classroom(not ones i came with)
and i look out the window to the courtyard that the 9 i always hang with at ucla were.

THEY GOT UP, AND STARTED WALKING THE OTHER DIRECTION!!!

now, this wouldnt have pissed me off that bad, but i was supposed to get a ride home with some of them!!!(plus they were leaving with out meh....)

so i tried to call Lizabeth, but she wouldnt answer!
so luckily, Alex answers!!!

i say, were are u guys going!??!!??!

he replys. o s**t where are u? we are going to get lunch and boba early.....

so im like,....., wat the hell!? y didnt u tell me!?
then im like, im coming!(they were going to the shopping center we always go to after...)

so i go out, and they are WAY down the path, and kept on going!!!

NINE (9) People MAGICALLY Forgot about Cory!!!!

of course, none admitted it, and just said, o we were gonna tell u......


MY a**.
9 people didnt think of cory.....nine.......

ALSO,

one day, i hear that those same people, went to this shopping district called 3rd Street Promanade for a nice little weekend or school break get together!
AGAIN WITH OUT CORY!!!


i mean come on......


so now, this sunday they went with out cory to play tennis......


infact, Nicole, who is innocent as she really couldnt say to invite me or not,. informed me that this was PLANNED Days before!!!!(when i asked her...)
(i would understand if it was a random thing made that day, but no , it was planned in advance! and still no invite!)

so i asked her today, y she thinks i didnt get invited,

"maybe they just didnt think of you"


therre u have it folks!



now at first, i thought, im just overreactiing, its no big deal!

but i asked a good friend, who is full of wisdom and advice on these things, and she says:

hell no ur not overreacting, your friends are bieng bitches.

now i am usually someone who lets things go and says, well as long as they are having agood time!

but right now, im feeling more like:

******** THAT, im sick and tired of just letting things go and candy-coating the truth of how i feel!

right now, im feeling pissed!

i mean, i kno i cant be tied at the hip with these people, but its more like, they are just casting cory aside!

wats EVEN WORSE!

im changing skewls next year, and my time with my friends is limited....
io want to spend as much time with them as i can,
and i thought they would feel the same too.

but maybe i thouhght wrong?
maybe i thought wrong about lots of things...
maybe they dont view me as of good as a friend as i view them.
like, to me, they are my best friends, but
maybe to them, im just someother classmate.


so, now, ive just been extremely pissed since monday....
and i havent really spoken to Patrick or the others...
Patrick must have noticed my change in behavior,
since he asked wats wrong twice.....

of course, i couldnt say it, i dont kno y tho...

even at tennis, im usually really excited to get to warm up with him on the courts,
but monday....i dont kno, it was like im avoiding him altogether

In the end, i think he has decided just to back off untill im my usual self.

i still dont kno if they have figured it out yet or not....

Kt and Lizabeth tried to ask wats wrong too....but if they dont understand by now, it would be pointless to explain.

so, that adivce giving friend told me to tell them how i feel, which is not an easy thing for me to do, as like i said, i tend to candy coat things, in attempts to avoid hurting peoples feelings.

but, is it worth it, when the person who is gettting hurt is moui?

i dont like to sound self centered or anything, but wishing for my happiness, really isnt that selfish at all, is it?

so right now, i dont kno wat my plan is,

when i change schools, maybe ill find out who really were my true friends?

"The future is still far off, even i dont understand it..."

oh to all those who read this jounal! please leave comments if u have something u would like to say, adive will be appreciated too.