I knew people always had their bad sides... you, yourself said you did.... I've never seen it, really... and I was both afraid you really had a bad side and really curious about what it was like or how bad it was....
And curiosity killed the cat, right? Curiosity killed me all right. Now, I am not curious. I already know what it is like.... I felt the coolness, your detachment.... your cold words rushing to slap me in the face.
"You know what... I thought I knew you, I guess I was wrong..."
"...Well...that's what will happen...when you're with me..."
I felt the words like a harsh slap for a moment... but the memory will haunt me, haunt me like all the nightmares of a cold, lonely night.... How can someone stop crying when the only person in the whole world who could make her stop was the person who made her cry in the first place?..................
You said, right on my face that no one in your life will ever understand you....... did you know how much....that hurt....me? It hurt me like hell. You know I'd listen, you know I'd understand... YOU KNOW I CARE. I care........ a lot. B-but how can I understand if you don't let me... if you don't want me to? You know I'd do anything right.... why do you have to break my heart like this??! I finally said it. I always convinced myself that something was wrong.... that something was REALLY wrong, that's why I never took it seriously.... or at least you think I didn't... I hurt every time you do things like this... I admit that I am too sensitive sometimes, but now.... this time it's different. You're different. You're breaking me.... and I'm too much of a fool to tell these things to you on your face... I just. can't. When you're talking to me, asking for forgiveness, I can never refuse, and so... all my feelings about this shall go on..... I'm confused, and this journal may not make sense to many people... but even though this is against him I'm defending him and I'm saying now that you should hear his side too.... there are always two point of views... and I'm still trying to view his... so please don't judge him yet.... for me...
----signing out, and putting the pieces together, Moonlight----
 Moonlight_Dancero9 · Fri Apr 18, 2008 @ 10:12am · 14 Comments |
