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Well, I went to dinner with my family tonight, and it wasn't too bad. I usually loathe such occasions, but everyone was in good spirits. But it got me thinking, as I was sitting there, I got that, "I would do anything for you guys" feeling. And, I usually have the, "family means nothing," attitude.
In my family, we have problems. I do not feel at liberty to discuss them. And through every argument and disagreement, the rest of the family always gossiped about the others, and it just made me see the bad in people. Even at this point, I still very much dislike some family members, but more importantly, it made any feelings of "family ties" dissapear. I didn't feel that blood entitled you to anything. In a sense, I still feel this way. On TV shows, you might see a person get into a fight with a relative, but they'd make up and everything would be peachy keen. You know, because they'd always say, "c'mon, we're brothers," or whatever. yeah-no. Blood means blood, I don't feel that anyone should get to treat you like crap while you suck it up because they're "family".
Don't get me wrong, I have to respect my family members, and i do it with a smile. Because if there's something I dislike more than taking advantage of others using the "family" excuse, it's disrespect. Seriously, ask any of my friends.
There are two kinds of people, one, as stated earlier (and i'm one) the "blood means nothing" category. You usually see this in people who aren't close with their family or maybe who've been adopted and say that their foster parents are their real ones. I have no problem with this. But what's odd about me, with my somehow and ironically close family, is the fact that i'm not in the second category. the, "family means everything" category.
Have you ever seen the movie, My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding? That was definatly a type two category family. There's nothing wrong with this type either. In some situations, I feel the same way. No matter what, my "family" will accept me for no other reason than your blood. And sometimes that's nice. They feel like they know you, even if they couldn't understand you if given a manuel. And I can appreciate this. Because even though we get angry at eachother and gossip behind others' backs, we always get together again.
Doesn't that just seem ...stupid? Why, oh why, on God's green earth, do people continue to get together with other people they fight with and , to an extent, despise? Again, "family". I know that I can dislike my grandmother severely. And I say that, because I do not believe in using the word "hate" towards anyone. Some people may harbor those feelings, but it's a very strong emotion i'm not capable of sustaining for long periods of time. It's too exhausting. But anywho, I know that I "love" my grandmother. And the kicker: I love her...because she's my grandmother. Because I've been told from birth, "you might not like her, but you love her". Well, I act respectful, I say "I love you," but in truth, I don't respect her, and I say "I love you" because that's what i've been taught to say and it's second nature to me.
I guess, as the expression goes, blood is thicker that wine. (or is it water?) I honestly have no idea what the wine is supposed to represent, though. Well, which type are you?
 Qua Quidam · Sun Apr 27, 2008 @ 02:14am · 3 Comments |
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