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Dear Gaia,

Well, I'm having a very bad moment in my life right now. Don't get me wrong, I don't tend to think about suicide but my mom sometimes puts me at that point. There have been exactly three times in my life where I thought about death, this being one of them. When my mother gets angry at me, she makes me feel worthless. She pushes all of my faults in a few great screams and I tend to feel like s**t in the end. Everthing I do wrong or have done wrong gets told right in front of my face. I am told that I ruined her day and that I can't do anything right. It is at times like this that I wish I did not exist.
I remember the first time I wanted to die. All I did all day was move a knife along my right arm. I moved it from my wrist up to my elbows. I moved it this way because my mom told me that stupid people who wish to commit suicide should cut this way. I don't like these feelings but I guess she can't help but want to cause me pain. Sometimes I think it's because I look like my father, who left her for a man. She hates my father and I guess with my looks I remind her of pain. But don't worry gaia, I will not take my life. I have yet to become dumb enough to kill myself because there are people who do care for me. Thank you for your time, I really need it.

Deathy-Chan