i'll never be like all those other girls.
i'll never be as pretty as them, i'll never be as thin as them, or as smart or as comfortable with myself as they are with themselves.
theres a song Maxx sent me... theres a section of the lyrics i want to share...
If I could be like that,
I would give anything.
Just to live one day
in those shoes.
If I could be like that
what would i do?
What would i do? Yeah
when hearing this song it sends a different then what i interpret that chorus as.
i'm just tired of feeling worthless and unattractive. there are some many things i'd change if i could... i don't even think it's worth typing every single thing.
i want to be happy. i miss being happy. i miss having fun. i miss having friends. i miss feel needed... right now i don't feel wanted or needed.
maybe it's part of my BPD but i want it to stop.
right now the thoughts going through my mind are scaring me... i don't want to go through with my thoughts...
i don't know what to do.
i want to be better.
i want to be happy.
i want to feel pretty.
i want to feel attractive.
i need to feel like i am needed and worth something.
-----------------------------------------
i haven't told anyone that i've seen tj. i don't think anyone would really care. i barely talk to anyone anymore anyways.
he said he'd go to the police and tell them what he's done to me for so long...
i'm still sore from the other day. i guess it doesn't matter... it'll stop sooner or later.
i want tommy to be safe... i told tj that i won't let him turn himself in until tommy is far away... somewhere safe... somewhere where he can me a kid.
he's the most amazing little guy i've ever spent time with.
i miss him, but i know me being in his life will not help in the long run.
-----------------------------------------
i know no one reads these entries or really cares.
but whatever...
i should be used to it by now...
i'll never be as pretty as them, i'll never be as thin as them, or as smart or as comfortable with myself as they are with themselves.
theres a song Maxx sent me... theres a section of the lyrics i want to share...
If I could be like that,
I would give anything.
Just to live one day
in those shoes.
If I could be like that
what would i do?
What would i do? Yeah
when hearing this song it sends a different then what i interpret that chorus as.
i'm just tired of feeling worthless and unattractive. there are some many things i'd change if i could... i don't even think it's worth typing every single thing.
i want to be happy. i miss being happy. i miss having fun. i miss having friends. i miss feel needed... right now i don't feel wanted or needed.
maybe it's part of my BPD but i want it to stop.
right now the thoughts going through my mind are scaring me... i don't want to go through with my thoughts...
i don't know what to do.
i want to be better.
i want to be happy.
i want to feel pretty.
i want to feel attractive.
i need to feel like i am needed and worth something.
-----------------------------------------
i haven't told anyone that i've seen tj. i don't think anyone would really care. i barely talk to anyone anymore anyways.
he said he'd go to the police and tell them what he's done to me for so long...
i'm still sore from the other day. i guess it doesn't matter... it'll stop sooner or later.
i want tommy to be safe... i told tj that i won't let him turn himself in until tommy is far away... somewhere safe... somewhere where he can me a kid.
he's the most amazing little guy i've ever spent time with.
i miss him, but i know me being in his life will not help in the long run.
-----------------------------------------
i know no one reads these entries or really cares.
but whatever...
i should be used to it by now...
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