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As much as I love my friends, I can only handle something for so long until I start feeling uncomfortable.

It just so happens that two of my good friends are in a relationship - one being the girl that almost took my boyfriend from me, and the other being one of the first people I liked since Raymond left me. They're both together, and happy and I'm happy for both of them. But to see them showing their affection for one another, right next to me and Jen...well, it only brings up old wounds and bad memories.

It doesn't really "hurt" as much as it makes me uncomfortable. I was fine until I got home around 2:30 last night. And for some reason the tears came. I didn't cry, but they were there.

I could give a s**t less about the physical aspects of a relationship. What I miss is the trust and caring you get from it. Its nice to have someone that loves you. But my theory still stands - no one wants to be with a used model. Or one that no one really cared for in the first place.

So...moving on to better subject matter.

I went to Fairhaven yesterday (a graveyard) and met a group of 15 year old boys from Foothill (rival high school). Its sad how much boys don't know these days. Andrea scared them with her vast knowledge of lesbian porn, and Jen just scared the s**t out of them all period.

I might go back today and take pictures. I feel at peace going to Fairhaven for some reason.

Its...just peaceful.

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