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Honestly Still don't see a plain reason why she is mad at me. A valid Reason. why she has me blocked. -_- but you know what? I'm not going to let it affect me this time. I'm not going to wallow in self pity or sorrow. Because...It really is just one big waste of time. Becoming attached to someone does not make you weaker. It gives you a stronger bond with that person. Even if that person begins to hate you or even dies on you. They'll still be with you as long as you remember them. And you can only be sad if you let yourself be. Petty arguments are a waste of my time. It's ok. People have misunderstandings. People do things wrong. Welcome, my friends, to human nature. But you can also do one of 3 things. hold a grudge try and stay mad and consume yourself with blind anger. Talk it out like a mature being. Or you can just try and forget anything ever happened. I myself Like to settle differences. The reason this s**t never gets solved. The reason arguments always pop up. Is because the differences are never settled. When yo TRY and fail to forget those arguments. It doesn't help at all. It just adds to the tension being built up for the next time. I forgive and forget. Only if the person is willing to talk things out with me. I'm willing to see it from your point of view. If your willing to let me. Don't look for a reason to be angry. Try the opposite your life will be so much more fulfilling. Don't dread the next time you'll ******** up. Welcome it because it is a chance to rid yourself of one more mistake. To learn one more thing about yourself or someone else. And above all. treat the ones you love, whether just friends or more, With the same respect as always. Don't treat them any differently When someone else is around. Be honest. Because honestly Lies bring only trouble and pain. Illusions. If someone can't accept you and love you for who you really are. no matter how attached you may be. Are they really worth your time? I used to hide s**t from my Best friend of 12 years Collin. But I realized how stupid that was. Because he accepts me. This kid could be a Homophobe and would accept me if i told him i was gay. (I'm not. This is an example) Because He is worth my time. yeah we argue like dumbasses over stupid s**t. But we always settle it out. I ******** knocked him in the face once when we were younger Over something stupid like legos. Instead of beating me senseless out of anger. Instead of trying to calm down and walk away. Instead of never talking to me again. He looked at me and said "What b***h is that all you got?" In the most ridiculous voice. Next thing I know we are laughing and talking about how we can handle the situation like adults. The kind of friend that never panics like an idiot. But actually saves your life when your choking to death. That's someone you need. So I told him. I still love her. So what? And he accepts e for that. Has no problem with it. Cause you know what. we all make mistakes. and we all argue senselessly but if you take the time of day, (It really is worth it trust me here) You can settle all this bullshit and have a better chance of never arguing again. Take your pessimistic s**t and shove it up your a** guys. Take your pity party. Take your sorrowful stories. Take your anger your hate. Shove it all away. It's a waste of your time. do what Bridget taught me and find your distraction. The thing that makes you happy. Even if that thing is what is causing you your problem. think about it in another way. The right way. I can't be pissed or sad about her. Because I love her. And just thinking of her makes me happier. Even if she is the one that SEEMS to make me feel useless sometimes. Makes me SEEM like I'm a ******** up. These are only a few things that I sometimes feel. but you can't assume. And everything has its flaws. Even YOU my friends. I know I do. Because she also makes me feel complete. Makes me happier. Makes me smile even when she is angry. There are exactly 9 people on this earth that I would give more than my life for. More than my Existence. More than my everything. And that's just here on earth. I'm sure I'll even find more. but she is at the top of that list. And me? I'm not on it. Yes I live for myself. Yes I have to die for myself ion some way eventually. Choice or not. but you know what. I'm not me without the people and things I love. I'm not me without my divine 9. go ahead point out every bad quality you can find of someone you hate. Or even love. EVERYONE. I bet you'll find a s**t ton more good qualities. If you look in the right places. And my final words for this entry. Choose how you live you life. Destiny takes a part yes. But her and time. In the end don't they just control the speed and the general outcome of it all? Who steers? Who controls the specifics. YOU. Yeah Everything happens for a reason. But don't let anything ******** you over eh? Don't be a noob. Look on the bright side. Cause you know. It's so much easier to find. And even in the dark. What stands out but the light? Don't tell me your lost in the pit of darkness suffocating in the cold dry air of death. I'll just say your problem is you havn't opened your eyes to see. You havn't opened your lungs to breathe. You have given into death to sorrow. But not to life and happiness. It's so easy if you can just figure out how.

Oh BTW I Love you.

Cyaz.