|
Random Things
9/9/05~
My tablet doesn't work with the new computer. I nearly cried. Sad, I know, but I'm addicted to my shiny.
And my plan to make this a non-emoticon, non-emotion journal went out the window last post, but at least it was a vaguely happy entry. Anyway, I should be getting a new tablet so...all is not lost.
8/9/05~
Got two shinies yesterday, a new shiny computer and Els-sama gave me her shiny flipphone. ;33333 Much luff. And I have art today, periods 7+8 so all is good. biggrin
3/9/05~
Woke up this morning at 6:30, which I felt was okay considering I'd gone to bed so late the day before. Got to start getting up at 6:00 before school starts otherwise I'll be dead first day back.
Morning was alright. Just ordinary, really. I went on the trampoline and watched my beloved Bleach DVDs - finally finished watching them all, yipee! Then I had lunch super-quickly at twelve and went out to record my saxophone for our church group CD. It took three hours, and I hadn't wanted to go in the first place. It left me in a really bad mood when I got home, and then I talked to Mum - thus getting myself into a worse mood - and stormed off to watch more Bleach. Paused it while my sister and mother came into to use the laminator, and then they left to sort things out at Claire's (sister) school, she starts teaching Monday. I calmed down a lot then and watched more Bleach for about an hour before deciding my hair needed washing...went on a manic washing-hair spree and finished just in time to go back to church for mass.
I felt exhausted by now though, and I was sitting in my altar servers uniform dying of heat and tiredness before the service started. I woke up a bit when two other servers arrived because one of them's quite new and she'd never met the other server before, so...we introduced her and she got dressed, then we had a runover of the jobs when the sacristan decided that acolytes would be a good idea. I didn't want to do them at all, so the poor new server got stuck with them as well as the older server. Well, they're about the same height, so it fits.
The service passed without incident really, save for I was wearing my trainers and hadn't realised until I'd got there. I was so embarrassed, you would not believe. I almost never forget, but like I said, I wasn't in the best of moods and I was tired, so it hadn't quite clicked that I was going to church.
Passed on a visit to Waitrose and went straight home instead. We decided to have fish and chips for tea, so Claire and I trekked back to the fish and chip shop to get some. They were nice, but really bad for me. I should stop eating so unhealthily.
Anyway, my mum and sister went on a walk, leaving me to finish off my Bleach DVDs and then I went on the trampoline again, before coming on here. It wasn't a bad evening, actually, and I'm in a good mood now.
Yay. An entry that ends on a happy note. It's a first. And probably the last, but, oh well. ~Shadow
2/9/05~
So, went out with my friends today. I spent literally all my mum's money on the meal which I felt really guilty for, but the restaurant wanted a 10% tip and some other stuff, and our total bill had been £116, which I gave a tenner towards, which was more than enough. But after added all the extras, it was £140, so I gave another fiver towards it and took a pound change. Blah. And they were all like, 'Did you have a good time? Blah blah...' And I was like, I wouldn't have minded spending the money if I'd had a good time.
Don't get me wrong. I was happy to see my friends. But I dunno, I felt completely out of it towards the middle and by the end all I felt like doing was sitting there hating myself for some weird reason. I think it was dessert. It completely annoyed me that we were going buying this stuff when kids were starving out there. I just got furious, especially when two of my friends didn't finish theirs. It really, really ticked me off. And I'm a complete hypocrite, 'cause I probably do this sort of thing all the time, I just can't see it.
Well, it was funny at first, and it was pretty amusing at the end as well, I just wasn't feeling up to laughing or anything. They'd got hold of this horrid photo of me - I seriously look possessed or something, or like I'm on drugs - and they've given it to Els for her birthday present. It was the only one where I was looking at the camera...darn my complete inability to look decent in photos.
Maybe I was just tired though. We spent a whole five hours fiddling with my sister's new classroom. I wasn't too bothered by it, but the new paint smell did get to me after a while, and there was no music to listen to. I was in charge of dusting and displays, which were okay, because dusting is easy and I'm fairely good at juding positioning for posters etc. on the display board. We couldn't get the staple gun to work. Stupid thing. Dusting though, led me to find a couple of my worst enemies - spiders. Completely scared the life out of me. Mum had to complete it eventually, I wouldn't go near the chairs after that.
Tonight after I came back, I grabbed a scrunchie to get my stupid hair out of my face, turned on the outside light and went on the trampoline. And I almost instantly felt better. It was so weird. I was dying to go on the thing all the way home, and it worked. Kids, buy trampolines. They save lives. Or at least, they make you feel better.
Next-door's dog was barking at me, despite us having lived here all the years of my life, and despite having trekked into our garden on occasion. I ignored it. I wasn't too happy with them anyway, they cut the hedge at the front of our garden. But that is a WHOLE other story.
Bah, all my friends had interesting stuff to say. I went to Alton Towers...yeah. And Sals told them about that. Apart from that I stayed at home on Gaia and watched my Bleach/Shaman King DVDs, how's that for an interesting life. There were only two people who probably would've cared about that, and they were both at the opposite end of the table and I'd seen one of them (Alanna) yesterday, so she already knew.
Everyone seemed to be looking forward to going back to school. I'm really, really not. Despite my mother saying that I'm an intelligent child who doesn't push herself hard enough, I have a feeling that despite all the advantages I may have, I'm going to have a hard time keeping up with my extra work. I mean, I'm taking four more GCSEs than my friends - true, two are the year before everyone else, but if anything, that simply puts more pressure on me. And everyone's expecting me to do well, and if I don't, I have to resit them. If it was up to me, I'd ditch Latin and French. I hate them both.
So I'm taking:
Technology (Product Design) - I want to be a graphic artist/designer. I'll never be good enough. Plus, I hate tech at our school. So yay, this'll be fun.
Spanish - No complaints here, save for everyone expects me to do well 'cause I went to school there for a while. I've lost nearly all of my grasp of it, though...
French - Hate. End.
Art - Cost a fortune. If I'd known, I wouldn't have taken it, I don't think. I don't seem to like spending money recently, even other peoples's. Other than that, yay, a subject I like!
RS - Not sure whether I'm taking this - once I've finished Spanish I'm going to start studying this and hopefully take the exam with everyone else. That's the theory, anyway. I like RS. This is good.
Latin - Should've died along with the Ancient Romans, as far as I'm concerned.
Maths - Obligatory. I hate Maths. Too bad. >__o;
Science Double Award - Obligatory. Again, I hate Science, but it's too bad.
Extra Science - WTH? I hate Science?!? Why would I want to take extra science classes out of school? The logic of my parents worries me.
English Lit. & Lang. - Blah. I have no confidence in my writing anymore. I've spent way too long on chatrooms and things for me to be able to write anything without inserting smilies and weird punctuation right left and centre. Ah well. It's quite easy, I think. I hope. At least I've got my two sisters's notes - I'm doing the same as they did - guess there's a seven year gap before the same syllabus rolls round again.
Chinese - I'm not taking this in school. I'm not ready to take it anytime soon anyway. My writing is apalling. I'm suprised my teacher can restrain herself from crying whenever I scribe something.
On the up side...no more History, Geography, Drama, Music...Brilliant. I like ICT, but again, our school is terrible at teaching it. Same with Music really, but yeah. I still have to take PE. PE should die. It should die and come back as Nutella. That would do everyone a favour.
Anyway, it's 10:30 and I'm usually completely whacked by 9:00. I'm off.
Sayonara~ Shadow
31/8/05~
I haven't... really been using this as a journal. I think I'll start from now. But I tend to ramble a lot, so it'll probably go on forever. Seriously, I plan out what I'm going to write in my head, than add in little bits so that it gets longer...and longer...and longer...and eventually, it's about 17 pages long and I still haven't said anything useful. I'm also on an emoticon test! Going back to school soon, so no more of the nasty things floating around or I'll start putting them on my schoolwork too. So far I've wanted to use three emoticons in my little paragraph, that's not good. Guess I really am addicted to them.
So. Well. If this is my space, I should write about me, I guess. I'm not really inspired to though. I'm not a very interesting person, I just have a strange outlook on the world. Recently I've become more and more quiet though. One day I think I'm going to disappear altogether. I just don't seem to have anything that would be good to say to my friends, and I get sort of...not depressed, but just a feeling of 'quietness' when I'm around them. I'm not shy. Well, not with them, 'cause obviously they're my friends, and I enjoy being round them, but sometimes I just feel like I want to be alone, and they interpret this as some sort of depression. Sometimes. Sometimes they don't notice. That's good. I don't think I'm depressed. Obviously I get down occasionally, but I don't have a problem with it. Sometimes though, I look at my sister and am just completely in awe. She's always, always in a good mood. Or, even if she's not, she's never bad-tempered anymore - ever - and she's just...lovely. No wonder my parents are annoyed I haven't turned out like her. I seem to resemble my other sister more day-by-day, and they're not too happy with her at the moment. But I shouldn't write about my personal life in case any of the people mentioned read it, and then they might attack me. I reckon I have a slight paranoia problem though. And OCD. In fact, I think all my family, save for my dad, have a minor obsessive compulsive disorder. We're all a bit crazy in some things. But it is funny. Yeah.
Still rambling. I don't know what I want to write, and when I do, I can't write it fast enough, despite being able to touch type quickly. I just want to go and watch my Bleach DVDs that came today, but I can't because my sister's room is the only place I can go and I don't want her to see the swearing in them. It completely embarrasses me whenever I watch PG+ films with my family. It feels so completely and utterly wrong...
And I don't like the English language. It sucks to learn. And I'm losing it, which is worrying me. I can't speak or write like I used to. Probably why I don't open my mouth to say anything, I just know I'll get mixed up.
Blah. I guess that's enough rambling for now. ~Shadow
|
