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I have no idea what the hell's going on today...
It's so confusing...
I didn't even know what the hell I was saying when I talked either...
today, is just plain pissie...
Okay, you wanna know something? The guy I thought I liked is Daniel. But I like to call it Drew but now...Nah, he thinks I'm totally head over heels in love with him. He tried to mess with me, some got to me but, he's just playing with me... Wow it's either I look like Im flirting when I talk to guys or I'm really foolish infront of guys...like in meaning, looks like I'm read-able.
The one thing I already said that I hate but Im gonna say it anyways... I hate reading, it's anoying and fake. I actually don't strike as the informative book type of person, but I love reading medical or like factual, understanding books. Like the book called Your Body Never Lies. I think it's a fasinating book but hey, it's just me. I hate other boring asss books like Ghost Canoe, Baduin's Gazelle, Artimis Fowl, Ohh, expecially Jane Austin Books. They look like freak'n bibles!??!?IT's insane Right now I'm reading a cute looking book, but it's pretty weird. Most of the thing I read so far is so making me realize myself and about guys, it's like isane. I like books from Carol Goodman but some are just plain sick. Like the Seduction of Water, where Aidan and Ellie...O..M..G... does something sick, ewww, dude but it's a good book. Tam Lin, Such a sweet folktale.
Another thing I am so sick of everyone far away. It makes me sick... Why is everyone so far away from me? Why is my cousin so far apart from my house? How can I trust the president when he's so far from here? How do I know he even care or knows about us? Using us for votes and hopes but crushes us when we really need him... I know there's the matter of distance we need like houses and how much we want...but I just hate how people I know moves and practically never see again because of the distance... Even worse when your brother and father...step-father are feminists so they think girls are supposed to do all the choirs and cooking, so when my mom leaves, they gang up on me and make me do all the rest of the stuff or they get so mean. I swear I hate it every time my mom leaves, there isn't a time when my mom left I didn't cry everynight because I couldn't do anything. and my dad thinks he can do anything or own me and the house so he can do what ever he wants to do. Fuvking faggiot.
People think I'm like a child abused kid. I always thought it was but just saying to just makes me feel bad so I defend my dad, I know I shouldn't he doesn't deserve anything. He is horrible, I feel like a prisioner being raised by like Hitler. I swear it's probably that close... It's so anoying. Really, out of everyone in the house hold I'm the only one who gets beaten up for something totally unreasonable or I disagreed with something or like just rebelled against him? Really? Is life that fuccking unfair?!?!? Is it so much to ask for...It just pains me though, Im complaining this much about this case but there's much worse people around that has a much worse case than me. I just feel so pathetic and weak, that I never say this, I think it's just not worth it, when I'm older I'll sue my dad for everything. Seriously, he never takes me seriously, I say I want to be a medical doctor or a forensics, me laughs at me and calls me a dumbasss for saying something so hopeless cuz I'm not smart enough or I'm too nice and I'll get stepped on. Seriously, fuick that! I can take care of my self unlike him, it's just a matter of age that I get to leave and prove him wrong but after that, still won't affect him, he'll just mooch money off of me and just whine, and say how proud he is of me if I do, it's just like him. He's the definetion of a loser, I swear. There is no guy like him on earth as pathetic as him. He quit his job just because it was too demanding. And he looks up at other losers that other people married to. Like a filthy rich lady that we knew married some guy that just married her for her money and just golfed and enjoyed life and sucked her money away.. he didn't even get a job, yet my dad looks up to him and braggs to my mom like wow he's so lucky I wish I married someone like her. But sad thing is, that lady dumped him for being a total jerk and a loser.
Ranting on really hurts my back...Im gonna stop for today... 3nodding sweatdrop
aoi_coco · Thu Oct 02, 2008 @ 06:43am · 0 Comments |
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