What better weather to have right now? It's cold, unfeeling, and doesn't care about anything. Just like how things have been going lately. Most of the people I know are becoming cold and unfeeling, and leaving me to deal with the mess. This doesn't help me much, since I've got my own messes to clean up.
And I absolutely love how he claims he's still my best friend, yet I'm left out of all the inside jokes. He calls me when he wants to break up with my other best friend because he doesn't know how. Then I'm the one comforting them both (though I didn't mind it for her...I'd do anything for her, because I know she would for me. That's what friends are for). THEN to make matters worse, he leads another one of our friends on by saying he'd take her to Winter Formal. He seems to take me for granted anymore, and I really don't like it. I wish we could go back to the way things used to be: me, him, some friends, and a good movie accompanied by a massive pillowfight. Just the simple relationship we all shared once, instead of this tangled mess of drama that seems to dominate our lives anymore. He's not the person he used to be. I know that people change. I know that I've changed, but he has changed too much. I hardly know who he is anymore. Lately, all he seems to do is hurt those he "cares" for, making me doubt his sincerety. But there are those times that he shows me he's still the same, the one that I became friends with all those years ago. We still have those moments when we can talk, and you know that nothing in that conversation will ever be heard by anyone but the two of us. It's like he doesn't realize that he's even shutting me out, but he is. Slowly, like a buildup of ice growing between us. I just wish it would completely melt so we can go back to the friendship we had where we could practically know what the other is thinking...
I just want to know where those days have gone.
I just want to know what happened to make things go so wrong.
I just want to know why you do this to me.
I just want to know if we can ever go back.
That's all I ask for. No more, no less. Just our simplicity that we had before, rather than all this "it's nothing, just an inside joke" that I can never know about because that trust seems to have dissapeared.
Where's the old you? I miss that you.
· Fri Nov 21, 2008 @ 03:07am · 0 Comments