I'm so done with this bullshit. I'm done with people letting me down and lying to me. I'm done with my pain being constantly brought. I'm done with people hurting me. Tyler's caused me the most pain. He's lied to me about being there for me. He's caused me to nearly cut myself because of the things he's doing. He told me today that, "just because I care about you, that doesn't mean I'll be there for you." I burst into tears and told him I hated him. I'm so close to breaking up with him its crazy. But I love him so much that it kills me when he's not around. I'm not in an abusive relationship, I'm causing most of the abuse. Don't try telling me that I'm doing something wrong when I already know what I'm doing. I'm so sick and tired of people calling me and fighting with me because I'm doing something to help Tyler. One of these days, you'll get what you deserve. But for right now, I'm just trying to live my pathetic life and trying my damnest to make it better for myself. Even though people always break me down and hurt me. I'll kill you for how much pain you've caused me. I can't stand being alone. All because I imagine its going to happen again. I'm so broken, its killing me. I can't stop crying and I can't help but think that somethings going to happen to me if I do what I told Tyler I was going to do.
I want to see blood insanely bad. I want to make my pain go away. I want to be happy. And I want my daughter in my arms. I want my love to be nice to me. I want my wrist to stop stinging when I claw at it when I dream of my rape. I want my family to truly love me. I want my friends to truly be there for me. I want my girlfriend to show me she loves me. I want my mother to say to me that I ACTUALLY mean something. I want my brothers' to actually notice that I want to talk to them. I want Tyler to realise how much he hurts me. I want my dad to actually be in my life. I want David to stop hating me and to stop arguing with me when I'm happy for him and to show him that I'm actually happy with Tyler. I want everyone to stop hating me for no reason. I want my friends and family to love me for who I am, not what I do or have done. I want people to aknowledge my pain. I want to stop hiding my true self to get people to notice that I've changed. I want Michelle to take notice that I do care about her and that I hate what she's become. I want my pain to go away forever when I finally get to hold my baby in my arms and tell her that she's worth something and that no one can change who she is. I want my mother to understand that I want a baby girl. I want to be happy and that a dog won't make it better. I'd rather hold a child and hear her say to me that she loves me. A ******** dog can't do that. I want people to love me. Not hate me.
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Tyler helps my life be fulfilled...
Whoo!
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Whoo!
User Comments: [5] [add]
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Love-Always-Lee Community Member 
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Legendary Sleuth Loki-kun
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x_ChristelClear Community Member 
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LovinMyDaughter
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User Comments: [5] [add]
Community Member
Ill always be there for you and i care for you.. (:
i promise it.. and wont lie about this promise.. (=
Kylah your like mmy bestfriend<3!
i mean it too Your a caring person.. (:
Kylah i would be there for you Jessies Promise! (: