The crayon is a bit rough around the edges; none too pretty to look at. It is non-traditionally jagged on both ends, and the array of colors are limited to dark shades. If one uses it for long enough, the occasional spur of orange, or red will show up. Other wise, the crayon is seemingly dull and useless. Deemed strange and irregular, the deformed peice of wax is usually ignored and assumed to be just another peice of the puzzle. Eventually, after a while; after a long while of using and reusing the crayon, it's true core colors will show up. And when it does, it will be beautiful.
It will be beautiful.
TheCrashing Sound of Love Community Member 
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Community Member
How about you start the the first line, "There is a crayon a bit rough around the edges." It's better for story telling. The second part of sentence doesn't make sense to me. Perhaps you meant "nothing too pretty to look at"?
Word choice is a bit odd in this piece. Words such as "non-traditional" and phrases such as "array of colours", "Deemed strange" pop out as different from the other language around them.
Let me see what i can do in editting this piece:
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There is a crayon. It is a bit rough around the edges; nothing too pretty to look at. It has jagged ends, unusual to most crayons, and its hue is limited to a dark shade of blackish-brown. If one uses it for long enough, the occasional spur of orange or red will show up. Otherwise, the crayon is seemingly dull and useless. Strange and irregular, the deformed piece of wax is usually ignored and assumed to be just another piece of the puzzle. Eventually, after a while; after a long while of using and reusing the crayon, its true colors will show up. And when it does, it will be beautiful.
It will be beautiful.
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Or you could make it into poetry, although metaphoric narratives like you wrote are used quite often these days.
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There is a crayon,
A bit rough around the edges;
Nothing too pretty to look at.
It has jagged ends,
Unusual to most crayons,
And its hue is limited to
A dark shade of blackish-brown.
If one uses it for long enough,
The occasional spur
Of orange or red will show up
Otherwise, the crayon
is seemingly dull and useless.
Strange and irregular,
the deformed piece of wax
is usually ignored and assumed
to be just another piece of the puzzle.
Eventually, after a while;
After a long while
of using and reusing the crayon,
its true colors will show up.
And when it does,
It will be beautiful.
It will be beautiful.
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I made each stanza a different idea in the metaphor. I'm slightly confused by the "piece of the puzzle" line. I don't fit the metaphor because a crayon is part of a box, not a puzzle. A box would probably be just as understandable. "Just another crayon in a colourful box" perhaps?
Otherwise, I think that the idea is brilliant. 3nodding