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I am now chasing after a new goal! Gaians from last X-Mas might remember those poor, poor orphans being enslaved by the infamous Mr. Raccoon. I am now trying to take even MORE living beings under my wings, which is getting a little cramped now. First things first! I got my hands on a real live Barph, who has managed to survive all those years under the Raccoon by eating whenever he can and storing his energy in his fat, which has not depleted yet and will probably never be.

Me: So, Barph, how does it feel to be free? Are ya grateful to me, you lil piggy?

Barph: Uh...Yup... but...I'm...hungr-

M: -Now that you're finally free, what do you want to do first? Go run around Barton Town?

B: Actually, I'm real hun-

M: Oh wait, the Animated are rampaging around the outskirts of town! I'm never letting you and your future pals get eaten by those horrid Gramsters!

B: Mm...Gramsters...Yum.

M: 'Scuse me?

B: See, lady, When I lived at that...orphan-age, I was REAL hungry, yeah?

M: ...Yeah...

B: So me and m' friends would make these mousetraps with us hair an' plaster. Sometimes a Grammer wud get trapped, see?

M: Don't tell me you actually...

B: *belches* We didn't have no stove, so we had'to burn us hair! The Grammers were REAL good, much betta than the muck Mista Racc gave us.

M: Well, Barphy, you'll learn how to eat civilized food from now on, even if we have to feed you by tubes!

B: Lady, I'm sleepy. Where'd the fridge?

M: Why're you asking me for a fridge?

B: I used to take my Zs inside the fridge 'cause there weren't no space left in the kid's room!

M: No worries there, kid! All you orphans (to come, anyway) can live in my house, even the cellar if you feel like it. It's much larger than that horrid orphanage!

B: Oh, that's a gud thing thar. We orfins are real sentiseeve to sunlight. Hey Lady, is there a fridge in yer house?

M: Sure there is! Stocked with coke, spaghetti, all those kinds of stuff.

-sound of clatters as Barph disappears from sight and slams the door closed behind him as he runs into the house-


Now I can only hope that I'll have enough provisions for that one, single...pig.