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"Have we all decided, then?" I asked cautiously.

"I agree with Mum." Cygna whispered.

"Really, Miss Luna, your solutions to solving problems are always so crude! This will turn disastrous, mark my words!" Lui hissed.

"Seeing as you're not exploding and tearing your seams, you're agreeing with Luna nonetheless, huh?" Mimzy giggled.

"Cheeep."

"Oh, shut up, Mimzy. I'm merely stating the obvious. Especially with Miss Luna being as lunatic as ever!"

"You shut up, Lui. Cyggy dearie, your motorcycle's ready? Along with HIM in the bag?" I asked the teenager.

"Yessir, along with a five-foot long shovel and a handwritten greeting to Mum's friend, FanFantasy."

"Oh really? Read it to me, Cyggy!"

"Ahem...To whomever it may concern... In other words, Miss FanFantasy:

Dear Fantasy, my family has been suffering from an invisible plague called the "Black Barph" which depletes all of our food, locks, furniture, and sometimes the roof. We have all discussed ways to try to stop this plague from destroying us, and we have come to a conclusion. Mum and I will be passing by your house and will bury the mentioned Black Barph in your front lawn. We hope that you will punch some discipline into this pig - er, boy, and return him to us safe and sound. If not safe, then in multiple pieces.

Signed, Cygna Atra Arcanis How was that, Mum?"

"Mmmm! Perfect! Now, let's go! Before Barph wakes up!"

"No, that's impossible. He sleeps though alien invasions a mind-switching hullabaloo." Mimzy told us.

"Cheep."

"Whatever. Off we go, Cyggy! To Fantasy's front lawn we go!"

"This will not end pretty. But...good riddance to that pig. Good luck carrying him, Miss Luna, Master Cygna!" Lui called.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"A little deeper, Cygna!"

"Hmmrgggh, how about now?"

"PERFECT! Now, carry Barph into this hole."

"NO WAY!"

"Why not? It would be rude to keep a hole empty. All holes must be filled with SOMETHING, Cygna."

"Are you trying to kill me, woman?!"

"Oh, pish posh. You won't die from lifting up a child. Here, I'll show you." I skipped over to the parked motorcycle and grabbed Barph's legs. "See? Easy. Now I heave...!!!" No budge. "I said...HEAVE...!!!!!!" Barph kept on snoring, totally immobile.

"Mum, your face is all red. You gonna explode?"

"Shut up and help! Here, take a leg." With one leg in my hands and the other leg in Cygna's grip, we barely managed to drag Barph over to the hole.

"Which way should we stick him in?" I asked.

Cygna made a window with his fingers and peered through. "Well...the right thing to do would be the right way up."

"The hole's deep and wide enough for him to get up on his own. Let's just drop him."

"And there's that way too." Cygna leaped/glided over the hole and put the letter on Fantasy's front porch while I shoved Barph into the hole. Amazingly enough, he woke up just as he fell.

"FFFNNNGHHHRRRR."

"Uh-oh. Cygna, run for it! He'll eat youuuuuuu!!!!!" I cried, already on the motorcycle.

"Wait for me, Mum! Don't let him get me!" Cygna grabbed my shoulder as the motorcycle revved thunderously and shot off.

The last thing I heard before crashing into a bush and coming out the other side with bugs in my mouth was Barph's cry.

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!"