I'm viewing my life from the sidelines seems like a good moto for me. Because this is how I regurarly feel and usually it makes me feel like s**t. What I did on my Martin Luther King Jr. day off was officially hell. I went to go pick up my cousin Mark, with Hellen and Mariella. The two girls came out with their mom and when I asked where's Mark she said he wasn't coming. That got me mad so I went up to their apartment and opened the door and went to his room. He was sitting there reading a magazine and told him to get up and get changed. He said he didn't want to go and I said that I was making him go. And then he started to scream that he didn't want to go and didn't want to talk to me. He didn't need my help that he didn't want to talk to anyone because life was to hard. So I grabbed him and hugged him and said that I was always there for him and he was always there for me. And now all of a sudden we were seperated by a wall. I asked him why was that and he said that I was a traitor. That I left him in hollywood while I moved and made new friends in Burbank. He said he was four and felt abandoned. He had been holding it in all these years thinking that I would move back because I wanted to. But now he couldn't stand me. I told him that I was four to and that I didn't want to move either. It wasn't my choice. I told him that if I had a choice to move back I would in a heartbeat. He said that I probably wouldn't he said that he told his friends about me and they even called me a traitor. He said that now I have rich uptight friends and that I've become a snobby b***h. He said that he hated what I've become and that I could never change and then he kicked me out of his room, saying hate you. Well, that was my day! sweatdrop But lets go to the more happier news. My other cousin Ashley, just turned 18, lives in Puerto Rico, is also very close to the Aunt who taught me bellydancing. Seriously we are the three musketeers. Well, she goes to a school where she's trained for the marines. And in a couple months she's going to be stationed at a war zone. She won't tell me when and she won't tell me where. She doesn't want me to be scared. And the last e-mail I got from her was a screenplay she wrote about me and W. She wants me to finish it and actually make it come true with a couple of my friends. She actually took the story from a copy I wrote from when I went to Puerto Rico. We sat down and started to come up with these ideas. And now she changed it to fit whatever is happening between me and W. She seriously is the best I love her so much. But now I'm scared because remember what Mr. LaCroix said Marines are the most dangerous. I don't want the next time I see her to be in a casket. sweatdrop Well that was the happier news that I had oh wait that wasn't that happy. Sorry I'll try harder next time. Like my throat doesn't hurt that much anymore or I made the best cookies today. Or that W gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek and I could feel his nice abs and he smelled really good. And Omg did I just write that good I'm so not over him but I'm trying my best sheesh. Well that's the happier stuff I'll be crying on tuesday. Yay, I'm glad i've got good friends. Kaitlyn to act like the mother I need, Katie and Lizzie to act like the people who will seriously make it all better. And Gordon, the cherry on top,(and I don't mean because he turns all red), he makes me smile again and shows me the humorous side of everything. And yes it's a miracle I've just complimented Gordon. You better soak this moment up Gordon, it's the only time it'll come true. wink cry neutral crying sweatdrop smile sad
 tenn-a-shoe · Tue Jan 20, 2009 @ 04:25am · 2 Comments |
