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So .. um, what have I been doing..

Well, I just got back from making up an anatomy exam... which was a freaking b***h bite in the a**... but I didn't do too poorly.

It was a warm day out and it looks like all the icicles will be gone soon... did I tell you how icicles are the best way to commit murder? It leaves no evidence behind...

> .. >.... yeaaah, Tasmia has a nice mindset no?
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ANYWHO

Life is ok....
I guess....

Writing, drawing and musing a lot... keeping myself from thinking too much...

I guess my problem was just being bored and what not.. and figuring out how to get over the fact that life is mostly a mundane seres of interconnected events...

And I've been having problems deciding... like weather to write in my /web.gaia/ journal or not ... I mean what's the point? Who's going to actually read it... or like why should I need people to read it... or even like why bother writing and communicating? then it flips and is like people should read it. if they don't you're a failbucket. Or like oh they will read it... or some will read it. Then changes to just get people to read it....

But you know what what ever... it's here.
I don't know. I try not to have a set mindset and have a right or wrong way of things... because that always leads to disappointment.

Adamant and obstinate, yes. But I hate knowing how things are too easily... that's why people keep telling me to stop making things harder for myself. Well if it's not harder then I loose interest and try to go.. I donno .. end my existence or something.

You know what I admire?
Ambition. I love ambitious people and people that will stick to you like glue no matter how much you try to get rid of them... the people that hang on to the edge of the cliff ... I don't know if I have that quality or not... but I really admire it in people. I guess you could say that my hemartia is that I have a love for encroachment.

Because I don't have the courage to dream anymore, so I love people that know the dangers in it, but aim high anyways.

Life is good, because I have people that care about me...
Life is ok, because I'm trying to go back to finding the balance between my internal environment and the external one of the world...
Life is tragic, because I've lost my will to dream somewhere along the way.
----

ON THE PLUS SIDE

With Joker Clover back in my head, suddenly things are getting more interesting ... sure I've got a few side effects... like absence of memory and sleep disorders.... and a mild touch of nymphomania... but aside from that.. I've gone back to 'creating' and drawing and have a very good muse. True the muse is a bit self centered at times... like making me focus entirely on him/her/it sometimes... but I've been finding amusement is simple things again.