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player1mia
2:31
/poke/

ill step on u666
2:32
/poke back/
player1mia
2:32
So I've been challenging god lately
appearently

ill step on u666
2:32
orly?
which one?
player1mia
2:33
lol
So you know how I draw and stuff

ill step on u666
2:33
yar
player1mia
2:33
I just confessed to my uber religious aunt that drawing people is my passion and pride
and she's like lol that's kida wrong
and I'm like ya I know

ill step on u666
2:33
lol
player1mia
2:34
because
I'm taking pride in creating and more importantly
the one thing that I can do that almost no one else at my level can
is that I can add a soul to my drawing
and that
is the biggest way to challenge god
oh and the whole trying to take my life thing
> ... >

ill step on u666
2:35
indeed
player1mia
2:35
I feel kind of bad
not because of this
finish what you were going to say and then I'll tell you

ill step on u666
2:36
well, i dont want to question anyones beliefs or get into an argument about it, but it really depends on if you believe in the magic flying space creator guy
ok
u go
player1mia
2:36
lol
So apparently
I've been Aries / Arieth this whole time
apparently

ill step on u666
2:37
according to?
player1mia
2:37
Well not exact those words
but man.
Seii.. er Zachary .. brokedown terribly
the bad thing about angsty over emotional mellow dramatic teenagers is that
when they believe that they are borderline/bi polar/split persona/ reincarnation of the being set out to see the world end.
they really believe it
''> ... >
silly kid though'

ill step on u666
2:39
well, isit really your fault he snapped?
player1mia
2:39
yeah

ill step on u666
2:39
or is he an idiot
player1mia
2:39
well that too lol
but
I mean I kind of fixed it last night I guess
I mean I still

ill step on u666
2:40
well,thats good
player1mia
2:40
am going to do what I'm going to to
*do

ill step on u666
2:40
i do hope it wasnt at like 4am
player1mia
2:40
no it was more of at like 2

ill step on u666
2:40
awww
i fellasleep
player1mia
2:40
That's ok.
that's good.

ill step on u666
2:40
i always miss the good stuff
player1mia
2:40
lol
no but
see, I feel bad
because apparently I've been holding all of that shnit at bay
and then when he thought that I was just going to leave and find someone else like him

ill step on u666
2:41
well thats a first*sarcasm*
player1mia
2:41
nyea?

ill step on u666
2:42
how can you find someone else like him?
he is the only him
i hope
player1mia
2:42
exactly
he misunderstood
> ... >
and I feel bad
because I actually hurt him... which is ... surprising

ill step on u666
2:43
well, why are you telling me? go tell him
player1mia
2:43
I did

ill step on u666
2:43
good
player1mia
2:43
but we've agreed to stop talking

ill step on u666
2:43
forever?
player1mia
2:43
because he was telling me
what everyone else has been telling me
'stop making it harder for yourself '
well damn it I'm going to make it harder
because I hate half assing things
and no not forever

ill step on u666
2:44
well i certainly never gave you that advice, so i get to be not everyone
player1mia
2:44
No I think you told me that too.

ill step on u666
2:44
psht, when?
player1mia
2:44
some time or another

ill step on u666
2:44
lol
player1mia
2:44
i don't know o ... o

ill step on u666
2:45
i would never do such a thing
player1mia
2:45
but it's a nostalgic feeling

ill step on u666
2:45
cause, there is a direct relationship between how hard things are and the reward
player1mia
2:45
you and seii are the only ones that ever thought of me as a 'force of good'
lol
> ... >

ill step on u666
2:45
well
you are
player1mia
2:46
lies.

ill step on u666
2:46
sometimes seii seems like a good fellow
player1mia
2:46
heh. I hope so.
He just needs guidance that's all

ill step on u666
2:46
well, he acts kinda like me, so i hate hime, cause icould never livewithsomeone like myself,
player1mia
2:47
heh, but you're awesome. O .. O

ill step on u666
2:47
its like if you met yourself
that ouldnt end well
player1mia
2:47
oh goodness I'd hate that
Dx

ill step on u666
2:47
exactly
player1mia
2:47
but love it at the same time
> .. >

ill step on u666
2:47
thats why seii sounds cool
but an idiot
player1mia
2:48
yeah

ill step on u666
2:48
prolly what i am, but im too blind to see it
player1mia
2:48
he's much more of an idiot than you are
no...
you're not stupid like him

ill step on u666
2:48
how is he stupid
i mean, he sees some truth
from what ive heard <..<
player1mia
2:49
well I mean... in general
the whole... thing
and how he assumes things

ill step on u666
2:49
ah
player1mia
2:49
and the ' I am greater than god bwahahahaaha'
< .. <''

ill step on u666
2:50
well, he did say he was sephiroth
player1mia
2:50
a reincarnation of

ill step on u666
2:50
that makes him the greater than god
player1mia
2:50
/ rolls eyes /

ill step on u666
2:50
lol
player1mia
2:50
And that he wants to just live in his own world

ill step on u666
2:51
well, then why is he after you?
player1mia
2:51
I donno
well this is recent

ill step on u666
2:51
hes a hypocrit
player1mia
2:51
after I did what I did
> .. >
I'm just a little bit upset

ill step on u666
2:52
well, we cant have that
player1mia
2:52
because he won't tell me what it is that would make him happy. Like a little kid.

ill step on u666
2:52
we know what happens when you get upset
wow
player1mia
2:52
he's convinced that he dosn't want to be happy
o ,, o

ill step on u666
2:52
that is just like a child
wow
sounding likeother people i know
player1mia
2:53
are you making fun of me?
> <

ill step on u666
2:53
well, imalways doing that
player1mia
2:53
well you're one of the people entitled to is so w/e
*it
but meh.
thanks for letting me dump my thoughts.

ill step on u666
2:54
best tshirt for u
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/womens/8aa2/?cpg=ab
and np
player1mia
2:55
lol. Apathy is hard work

ill step on u666
2:55
it is
so wheredo you go from here
?
what is your next move?
player1mia
3:22
hnm?
oh
study by butt off
for the nest 5 years

ill step on u666
3:23
you sound sooo motivated
player1mia
3:23
I eam
*I am
and sorry I was afk
dude, I gave up seii for it. You better believe I'm not going to mess that up

ill step on u666
3:24
i hope for your sake that is true
player1mia
3:26
I do too

ill step on u666
3:26
imean it would be awful if yougave him up for nothing
especially when it is already the lame excuse of school
player1mia
3:27
heh.
you know what
this needed to happen in freshman year
before I decided to turn psycho.

ill step on u666
3:32
school is not the endall
besides, i believein you as being fullycapable of being yourself, and doing well in school
itsnot that difficult
just repeat what they tellyou
player1mia
3:33
meh
conformity
player1mia
3:46
sorry my aunt was sitting with me
and made me learn this random song

ill step on u666
3:46
ah
player1mia
3:47
so I was doing that
anywho
no I mean i needed to explode in fresman year
and then this whole identity crisis wouldn't have happened
because there's me with my family
then me at school
and me with you jamie and seii
it's like
I was living 4 different lives.
and when ever the intertwined I would turn bezerk

ill step on u666
3:50
hm
soyouve decided to choose one?
player1mia
3:50
yeah

ill step on u666
3:50
which one?
player1mia
3:51
which ever comes naturally

ill step on u666
3:51
well, then you will end up with multiplelives again
player1mia
3:51
no
i won't
because I won't be putting expectations for myself
so mostly how I am with you jamie and seii
because the reason why I've been so ... spaztic

ill step on u666
3:52
that will be quite interesting
player1mia
3:52
you could say
is because I'm dead afraid of people being disappointed in me
and with you jamie and seii
there isn't anything left
for you to be disappointed over
ya know
^^;

ill step on u666
3:53
^^
lol
well,thenyou simply cantdo that withothers, because mejamieandseii willbe disappointed
for being so, weak, i guess
player1mia
3:54
heh.
yeah you're right.

ill step on u666
3:54
bad wording
but
player1mia
3:54
but I know what you mean

ill step on u666
3:54
yea
player1mia
3:54
i guess it was bad wording on my part
you three know the worst of me but .. also the best... i feel like what
whatever it is... I don't even know
but for some reason you three know
so i guess what i meant was that I can't just have a stock personality for everyone else but you three

ill step on u666
3:56
i guess
player1mia
3:56
and let them see the worst too... maybe not delerately
but it's hard to word it
just kind of... trust people to not throw me out everytime I go out of the personality they expect me to have.
SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING
> .. >
/change topic lol/

ill step on u666
3:59
imsitting,listening
player1mia
3:59
o.
it's 4o' clock
mac tells me.

ill step on u666
4:00
yes
player1mia
4:01
o .. o
/ hasstuffshe'sbeenmeaningtotellyouforquitesometimenowbutcan'tseemtofigureouthowtobecausesheisincompitantlikethat/

ill step on u666
4:03
lol
justlikeme
i hate my spacebar
player1mia
4:03
I'm sorry. o .. o

ill step on u666
4:03
lol
dont be
player1mia
4:04
I can't help it.

ill step on u666
4:04
you dont need to
player1mia
4:04
I'm irl poking my fingers together lol.

ill step on u666
4:04
dont
player1mia
4:05
fine.

ill step on u666
4:05
good
player1mia
4:05
no not good.
leaving things unsaid always leads to problems

ill step on u666
4:05
well, youi can tall me
tell
but dont be sorry for it
player1mia
4:06
I know because I've left things unsaid and things exploded.

ill step on u666
4:06
or oke ur fingers
player1mia
4:06
but I don't know how to tell you
@ ... @
words aren't my strong point, nyon.
I'm terrible like that, I always expect people to know things
I guess that's why I get along with jamie so well
because she can do that
but that's not good, ya know.
> ... >

ill step on u666
4:07
lol
player1mia
4:09
now if it were a dramatic discussion about some random nonsense, I'd surely excel at that > .. >
but never for actual things

ill step on u666
4:09
well thatsucks
but i already knew that
player1mia
4:09
yeah. I'm sure you did.

ill step on u666
4:10
i mean, watching you try to talk to people in merten's class is quite funny
player1mia
4:10
i don't like talking to them.
o .. O

ill step on u666
4:10
i know
player1mia
4:10
when do i try and talk to people?
not unless i need something
like info

ill step on u666
4:11
idk, like ive seen you ask people questions,
there ya go
and trying to deal with anthony, i crack up on the inside
player1mia
4:11
which is coated with a disguise of casual conversation.
oh ... well ... he kind of... > ... >

ill step on u666
4:12
i know
player1mia
4:12
there are people who bring out the best in me
he just isn't one of those people
no matter which way I look at it

ill step on u666
4:12
lolol
player1mia
4:13
I hate it when you start off an assumption of me out of no where
and then I have to continue with it
and it's like... totally new to even me

ill step on u666
4:14
well, thats myjob
player1mia
4:14
but I'll go on pretending I know what you're talking about
@ .. @

ill step on u666
4:14
well, i finished
so we cansee what you haveto say
player1mia
4:15
see that didn't even make sense to me
I'm not smart, nyon. Dx
I love making people think I am.. but I'm not

ill step on u666
4:16
nobody here asked you to be
player1mia
4:16
> < I guess I need to get that through my head to
well I can atleast say one of the things I'v been meaning to say
sorry I'm not the kind of person you thought first thougth I was
. __ .

ill step on u666
4:17
?
but you are.
player1mia
4:18
Am not.

ill step on u666
4:18
are too
player1mia
4:19
but I .. I stopped caring and hurt people and just.. i don't know... kind of failed at being what I wanted to be... and am judgemental and make rash decisions and can't stick to my promises and can be barely of any use to anyone
I'm not like how you thought I was... I have the book where everyone wrote what they thought of me
and it's sad because I failed them... doing what ever it was I thought I needed to do

ill step on u666
4:20
i never wrote in it
player1mia
4:21
yes you did

ill step on u666
4:21
nope
player1mia
4:21
before I went to canaidia
it's there

ill step on u666
4:21
never wrote, if i did, it was a lie, because i didnt want to do it
they asked me for weeks
player1mia
4:21
it's titled 'rage against the [something] of the light

ill step on u666
4:21
and i refused
player1mia
4:22
it's there scott
lol

ill step on u666
4:22
again
a lie
that line
stolen
from a source
player1mia
4:22
with a little symbol thing

ill step on u666
4:22
i dont recall
player1mia
4:22
hnm it's too long to be a lie
it's like two pages

ill step on u666
4:22
not if its all stolen
player1mia
4:22
I think

ill step on u666
4:22
no
player1mia
4:22
you know what

ill step on u666
4:22
i wouldnt have done that
player1mia
4:23
i'm going to go get it now.

ill step on u666
4:23
go for it
... kind of failed at being what I wanted to be...
player1mia
4:25
it's you

ill step on u666
4:25
and besides
thats who you want
you are exactly who i thought
havent changed a bit honestly
player1mia
4:25
really?

ill step on u666
4:25
really
what did i say in there anyways
and what symbol
player1mia
4:27
it's a really weird halv circle like symbol with a dot in it
but
basically
just kinda told me to have fun in Canidia
and that you were trying to avoid the fact that i was leaving

ill step on u666
4:28
lol
see
i refused towrite it
player1mia
4:28
and that I saved you somehow
> ... >
ok
it is a lie
you were right

ill step on u666
4:29
i know, what did you expect, me to actually write about you
player1mia
4:30
you apologized for wasting my time blabibing about nothing
yes my oh so precious time... really? lol

ill step on u666
4:30
yea
lol
player1mia
4:30
And that you knew i'd be back
because.. yeah
>>

ill step on u666
4:31
not a thing about who i thought you were
and still do
player1mia
4:31
you and seii really what is with this whole 'savior thing' I'm more the person who brings people to their demise
stop thinking that I can save people because then I'll think I can too
then i'll fail
and go into a self induced come
and wake up at some mental rehabilitation center
to be like.. WTF mate

ill step on u666
4:32
lol
player1mia
4:32
8coma
**coma

ill step on u666
4:32
we dont say you can save people, we say you did
player1mia
4:33
there I am again, challenging God,
and feeling damn good about winning. > ... >

ill step on u666
4:34
lol
good
player1mia
4:34
no not good.
I good as abandoned you
and I good as abandoned seii.
so it's not good.
I think it was Matt.

ill step on u666
4:35
who is that?
player1mia
4:35
who told me to stop trying to be an angel
Texan friend

ill step on u666
4:35
mhm
player1mia
4:35
from Anime convension
and all that stuff
he falls some where between you jamie and seii
Man, i'm great at finding people > ... >

ill step on u666
4:36
lol
player1mia
4:36
Well anyways.
That's what I'm sorry for.

ill step on u666
4:37
well, you didnt do anything
sodont be
player1mia
4:37
Here you guys are telling me that I help you... when really it was you that pulled me out of the pit I jumped in to
so a belated thank you.

ill step on u666
4:38
um....k
player1mia
4:38
lol
serious cat is fail?

ill step on u666
4:38
ya
player1mia
4:38
neh. I can't be serious
well half the times atleast
but I will make an attempt at getting all of what is needed to be said out.
serious or unserious
i don't think that's a word
but w/r
*w/e

ill step on u666
4:40
lol