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Welll you know what, I'm fusking sorry,

SORRY I'm not anywhere near perfect and that I keep messing up and that I can't stay the way that I am all the time,

But you know what, I;m fusking trying, and if that's now good enough for you guys, then I'm sorry. I'm trying.. and I don't know what else to say.

Whatever, I should just quit right now and save you all the drama... I KNEW it, I knew from the very fusking beginning, not to make friends because then you start caring that you're not perfect and because you fusking messed up and I do that so much that it was better if I didn't have any because I can't ******** handle them.

Sure, only like what... one or two are mad or not even..but that doesn't matter, I'm a fusking skitzo screw up that can't ******** do anything right and in an attempt to make myself better I went off and made myself stupider and those of you that actually matter to me apparently think so too.

I'm sorry I don't know how to ... I don't even know BE... it's like the absolute most simple thing that I can't even do right... and I don't even fusking know any more... what the hell am I fusking supposed to do, I'm trying to move forward I'm trying to stabelize I'm trying to just I don't know... act normally.. .go back to being the kind of person I was and adding on the good things I've learned

But apparently I'm failing at that too because I fail at absolutely everything and really I with I could say I don't care but I do, wich is just the same as whining

WHINE WHINE life hates me , shut up.

oh I would have said yes but the new me will say no~ SHUTUP you don't ******** know me, you don't know what the hell goes in in my head... how the ******** could you say that.... new me... REALLY do you think that I'm just trying to make ANOTER one of those stupid personalities so that I can get on through about the day and have people adore me and pay attention to me... yeah sure.. because we all know how well I can go about doing that... REALLY?? I thought, out of everyone you would have seen how I was trying but I guess I was wrong.. and I guess I was wrong about everyone that I actually thought I was right about.. but that shouldn't be a surprise since I'm wrong about everything..

Stupid, you're right, I AM stupid, for going out of my way to become something I want to be which I'm clearly not and can never hope to be because I'm a nuisance to all of existence.

You're right, I should just enjoy my swing and learn how to sing in the cage.

You're right, I don't think my decisions true, and am playing god, and am whining about nothing ...

Fine.
that's fine.