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The Journal that was too cool for a title.
It's too cool for a title
some more poems... PLEASE CRITIQUE
Okay.. please, PLEASE, critique. I write so I can get an opinion... I want feedback!!!
______
For You I Burn
I'm so far away
Where is your hand
Can you reach out to me
I don't think you understand

that...

(Chorus)
You pushed me away,
for the last time
No more will I say,
that everything is fine
Because I'm burning, burning for you
And I'll burn, if it's the last thing I do

I'm breathing so loud
I can't hear my cries
Only a screaming sound
Makes my throat dry

and it's because...

(Chorus)
You pushed me away,
for the last time
No more will I say,
that everything is fine
Because I'm burning, burning for you
And I'll burn, if it's the last thing I do

(Bridge)
This is a communication breakdown
Talk to me
All the blood's been poured out
And I can't breathe
No I can't breathe
Please talk to me

(Chorus)
You pushed me away,
for the last time
No more will I say,
that everything is fine
Because I'm burning, burning for you
And I'll burn, if it's the last thing I do


Shattered Dreams and Melodies
I look beyond the stars at night
I stare and stare
Only to fall into the abyss
And become hypnotized
By the sweetest melody echoing in my head
Its hum so serene, I am unaware
That I have been swallowed by darkness

This darkness is my dream
So late at night when the stars shine bright
My deepest desires break free from their prison
And become my temporary reality
In this realm of the fallen mind
Where all truths become rumors
And all I want is mine
But then the sacred hum fades away
This world blackens again
And my dreams shatter to pieces

I try to sing my blissful song
And yet my voice cannot escape
My beautiful melody of sleep has left
Broken and out of tune
So there comes no harmony or tranquility
No peace tonight, no free reality
As my dreams and melodies are broken


Reflected Memior
I saw a symbol within the sky,
pointed at my heart-
I thought life was simple enough,
that if ever you died,
I'd know happiness first-

Dropped into my lap, a bloodied head,
Mine own I saw-
The part of me that was cut off,
since my heart couldnt suffice,
dead on the inside-

I saw a star within reach,
given from love itself-
But on that star shone my fate,
and I knew your hate driven mad,
would stab my soul, blinded-

Nothing is the same in this life,
you've disappeared-
A shadow slits my wrists,
and if ever I die,
at least you knew me-

Is it too much to ask of you,
maybe one day-
My soul long dead in your arms,
my body's warmth is a lie and take,
please let my ashes fall into the heavens-

I rest inside a glass case,
much like White as Snow-
I claw at it to reach you-getting cut,
trapped, I am defeated,
because I love you-

Into the fire dare I ere go,
remembering trust-
Such a simple thing to be sure,
And these demons come again,
to take me away-

Kill me and be rid,
of such the hinderance-
miracles are for losers so I am told,
because your rejection showed,
my sacrifice-

In my eyes does the world sleep,
death be not proud-
because I hold light and dark,
within my grasp,
is the painted memoir, or my demise-

Returned in full,
erased from all of life-
Can you still recall the laughter?
I wish it were still so, that we hold,
onto our reflections-






User Comments: [1] [add]
AmazingTentacleFox Shippy
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Wed Nov 09, 2005 @ 12:05pm
ooo! I really like them ^^

I love you.


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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