Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Vampires with venom and werewolves with grudges. Confused high school boys, who resign to sad trudges. Careening blue vans that start off epic flings. These are a few of my favorite things. Emily’s muffins and Jacob Black’s smile. Jasper’s calming ability and Alice’s style. Pissing Paul off so badly he can’t help but phase. Carlisle’s polite manner and Esme’s kind gaze. Reading old books that are difficult to get through. Listening to Debussy and Muse, cause they’re to good too. Being told by old Aro that for Edward my blood sings. These are a few of my favorite things. When the wolf bites. When the vampire snarls. When I’m feeling sad. I simply remember I’m going to be changed. and then I don’t feel so bad. Emmett’s sense of humor and frightening appearance. Sneaking around Forks without getting Charlie’s clearance. Hearing Quil imprinted on someone who’s two. Angela, Mike, and Eric, and the rest of the crew. Lying in meadows and sparkling in sunshine. Hanging out Jacob’s garage and going to Billy’s house to dine. Being attacked by a vampire and pursued by his mate. A can opener almost hitting Jared when he suggests me for bait. Furry best friends who confuse my emotions. Turning in a zombie, jumping into the ocean. Glaring blonde vampires and an old engagement ring. These are a few of my favorite things. When the vampire bites. When the werewolf growls. When I’m feeling sad. I simply remember I’m going to be changed. and then I don’t feel so bad.

Oh we use to talk about everything that we’ve done. And no matter what we would do, if I was with you, I would have fun. But now you’re so far away. And I miss you everyday. Cause you’re so far away. And I wanted you to stay. Not to be so far away, away. Oh, you tell me you’re leaving. And that you don’t want to go. But you have to go. You helped me and made me who I am. And without you, I’m broken. So why do you have to be so far away. Cause I miss you everyday. And I wanted you to stay. Not to be so far away, away. And why do we have to say goodbye to all the good times we had. It won’t ever be the same. Now that you’re gone. Now that you’re gone. Cause you’re, you’re so far away. And I miss you everyday. Cause you’re so far away. And I wanted you to stay. Not to be so far away, away. Away…

When I try to look elsewhere or in others. I lose myself. For my life is nothing without you. My creator. You give me meaning. You give me purpose. I find me destiny in you, oh, god. How wide? How long? How hogh and how deep? Is your love, oh, lord. Unless the lord builds this house, I will build in vain. I will sink in the sand, but I choose to stand on you. The rick of my salvation. You give me meaning. You give me purpose. I find my destiny in you, oh, god. For when I fail. When I fail. You pick me up, and hold me in your arms. Oh, lord, my god. Redeemer and me friend. You’re the Alpha, Omega. The great I am. And I give my all to you. How wide? How long? How high and how deep? Is your love, oh, lord. I die to myself so that you might live in me, oh, lord. All the days of my life. Shine through me. Oh, god, of who I am. Oh, god, of who I am.

There’s a girl who sits under the bleachers. Just another day eating alone. And though she smiles, there is something she’s hiding. And she can’t find a way to relate. She just goes unnoticed as the crowd passes by. And she’ll pretend to be busy, when inside she wants to cry. She’ll say… take a look at the life of Miss Always Invisible. Look a little harder, I really, really want you to put yourself in her shoes. Take a another look at the face of Miss Always Invisible. Look a little closer and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day when you’ll ask her name. in the beginning, in the first weeks of class. She did everything to try and fit in. but the others, they couldn’t seem to get past all the things that mismatched on the surface. And she would close her eyes when they laughed and she feel down the stairs. And the more they joked. And the more that they screamed. She retreated to where she is now. And she’ll sing… take a look at the life of Miss Always Invisible. Look a little closer, I really, really want you to put yourself in her shoes. Take a another look at the face of Miss Always Invisible. Look a little harder and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day when you’ll ask her… her name. and one day, just the same as the last. Just the days spent in counting the time. Came a boy who sat under the bleachers just a little further behind.

Is a lot like water. Trickling down a page of the most beautiful colors. I can’t quite put my finger down on the moment. That I became like… this. You see, I’m the bravest girl you will ever come to meet. And yet, I shrink down to nothing at the thought of someone really seeing me. I think my heart is wrapped around, and tangled up in winding weeds. But I don’t wanna go on living being afraid of showing someone else my… imperfections. Even though my feet are trembling, and every word I say comes stumbling. I will bare it all… watch me unfold. Unfold. These hands that I hold behind my back are bound and broken by my own doing. And I can’t feel anything, anymore. I need a touch to remind me I’m still real. My soul, it’s dying to be free. I can’t live the rest of my life so guarded. It’s up to me to choose… what kind of life I lead. Cause I don’t wanna go on living being so afraid of showing someone else my… imperfections. Even though my feet are trembling, and every word I say comes stumbling. I will bare it all… watch me unfold. Unfold. I will allow some one to love me. I will allow someone to love me. Love me… love me…

dear friend I haven't heard from you in ages. I wonder how you’re making out. Last time we talked, I felt the space growing between us. I didn’t think you’d go so far. Tell me how you could just vanish without giving me any reasons.. What were you thinking, and does this all make sense to you? It’s hard when you don’t say anything when I gave you everything. And still you slip right though my fingers. It’s hard when you don’t say anything. Is this how you finish things? Because to me, this doesn’t feel like the end… dear friend. It’s not like me to put my trust in somebody, but to you I gave it all. And if you’d asked me, I would soften all your falls. But now it’s me who’s stumbling. Tell me how could you just vanish without giving me any reasons. What were you thinking? And does this all make sense to you? It’s hard when you don’t say anything. When I gave you everything. And you slip right through my fingers. It’s hard when you don’t’ say anything. Is this how you finish things. Cause to me this doesn’t feel like the end… dear friend…

Personality, immortality. I saw it raining outside, it’s raining outside, the changing. Personality, rationality. Fame has dies, you think that your pride, and you’re gone. And I’m waiting, I’m slaving for this moment. I just can’t wait anymore. AH! AH! Changing, waiting. Changing, waiting. The big style, isn’t worth the while. Uh, uh, uh, uh. She screams at me, seems to be that we’re fading. All my photographs, all the perfect laughs are gone from me. Seems to be that we’re changing. Personality, rationality. Fame has died, and you think that your pride and you’re gone. And I’m waiting, I’m slaving for this moment, I just can’t wait anymore. AH! AH! Changing, waiting. Changing, waiting. Changing, waiting. Changing, waiting.

On my way, though I don’t know where I’m going. On a road that’s dark and long. On my way, but I’m fearful that I could be lost. That the path I have chosen might be wrong. When will it be clear, that I made the right choice. When can I be sure, that I know my own voice. I dream of the day when I’m free from doubt, where fate winds out. And I’ve overcome my fear. Clear. I don’t know where to search for answers in a world that is afraid. Will I find my strength? And discover who I really am. Or retreat every time that I don’t care. When will it be clear, that I made the right choice. When can I be sure, that I know my own voice. I dream of the day when I’m free from doubt, where fate winds out. And I’ve overcome my fear. Clear. I’ve been told, that we learn from our mistakes. But I just don’t know how many mistakes it takes. I’m trying so hard to let down my guard. Maybe right now, maybe right here. Clear, that I made the right choice. Sure, that I know my own voice. This is the day when I’m free from doubt, where fate winds out. And I’ve overcome my fear. Clear.

There's some things that I regret. Some words I wish had gone unsaid. Some starts, that had some bitter endings. Been some bad times I’ve been through. Damage I cannot undo. Some things, I wish I could do all over again. But it don’t really matter. Life gets that much harder. Oh, some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned. And every tear that had to fall from my eyes. Everyday I wondered how I’d get through the night. Every change, life has thrown me. I’m thankful, for every break in my heart. I’m grateful, for every scar. Some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned. There’s mistakes that I have made. Some chances I just threw away. Some roads, I never should’ve taken. Been some signs I didn’t see. Hearts that I hurt needlessly. Some wounds, that I wish I could have one more chance to mend. But it don’t make no difference. The past can’t be rewritten. You get the life you’re given. Oh, some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned. And every tear that had to fall from my eyes. Everyday I wondered how I’d make it through the night. Every change, life has thrown me. I’m thankful, for every break in my heart. I’m grateful, for every scar. Some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned. And all the things that break you, are all the things that make you strong. You can’t change the past. Cause it’s gone. And you just gotta move on. Because it’s all, lessons learned. And every tear that had to fall from my eyes. Everyday I wondered how I’d get through the night. Every change, life has thrown me. I’m thankful, for every break in my heart. I’m grateful, for every scar. Some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned. Oh, some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned. Lessons learned.

Spin away the combination for the last time. Say goodbye to this year. I wish I could avoid the empty summer days that await me. The fakers smile goodbye, celebrating there new freedom. I sit alone on the couch, wondering why. I wonder what it’s like to have it all. To never be afraid that I would fall. But don’t think I’ve ever known the time that I was part of the in crowd. Here we go, another day, another disgrace. Fall flat on my face. I wish I had a bunch of money. Catch a plane and head out west. Still run and play around. All full of the fans and freedom. I sit alone on the couch wondering why. I wonder what it’s like to have it all. To never be afraid that I would fall. But I don’t think I’ve ever known a time that I wa part of the in crowd. Doesn’t anyone here live an original life? Or did you surrender to be on the inside. When you disappear they won’t remember your name. and you’ll fade away. The sun will take your place. Take your place in the in crowd. Spin away the combination for the last time. Say goodbye to this year. I wish I could avoid the empty summer days that await me. The fakers smile goodbye, celebrating their new freedom. I sit alone on the couch. But am ready to fly. I wonder what it’s like to have it all. To never be afraid that I would fall. but I don’t think I’ve ever know the time. I wonder what it’s like to have it all. To never be afraid that I would fall. But I don’t think I’ve ever known the time that I was part of the in crowd. Of the in crowd. In the in crowd. I don’t need anything that I can’t find in me. I’m alive. I have been out of line at the end. When you fall, something more, something new to begin. When you fall, something more, someway to fit in. in the in crowd. In the in crowd.

You and me we used to be friends. Nothing more and nothing less. You and me, we used to hang out. Never ever thinking about, more than you and more than me. A growing love that we didn’t see. Until this kiss, that was more than this. It was more than us just being friends. This kiss was a magical thing. My heart did fly and the angels did sing. Oh, oh, oh. From the on when you looked in my eyes, it felt like I was being hypnotized. Your cute smile and your perfect hair. Your beautiful eyes. I can’t help but stare cause it’s more than you and more than me. A growing love we didn’t see. Until that kiss. That was more than this. It was more than us just being friends. That kiss was a magical thing. My heart did fly and the angels did sing. Oh, oh, oh. Cause you mean everything to me. And without you, I don’t know what I’d be. Cause of that kiss. That was more than this. It was more than us just being friends. That kiss was a magical thing. My heart did fly and the angels did sing. Oh, oh, oh. Cause of that kiss.