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The Daily Ashiya
Things to do on an Elevator
Things to do on an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

cool SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”

14) WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”

1 cool DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don’t exist.

22) CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it.

23) Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

24)Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

25)Start a sing-along.

26)Bring a chair along.

27) Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

2 cool Blow spit bubbles.

29) Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

30) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

31) Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

32)Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."

33) Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

34) When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

35) Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

36) Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

37) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

3 cool Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

39) Right after the doors close, run into them screaming "NOOOOOO"

40) Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?"

41) Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in: "Going down?"

42) Form your hands to the shape of a gun and start humming the James Bond theme

Start screaming that you lost your pet rat/snake/spider

push all the buttons then run out when someone walks in

Looking shocked, feel your face whispering "no, not again!"

make fart noises and glare at another person

Say "I give up" and empty your pockets onto the floor

Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer at other passengers.

jump rope

Talk to yourself in a squeaky voice

Lie down and sleep

Say as many Gir quotes as you humanly can (especially the taquito ones)

Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.





 
 
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