And to think, I was crying sooo badly this morning because of it. =p
Welp, I've gotten over that person.
...Well, not really, but I'm not gonna sit here moping for the rest of my life until that person comes back to me. Many people have helped me realize this. Two of them especially. They've taught me that I can't be like this for the rest of my miserable, unloved life. It doesn't matter that I've been let down the same way twice. I just have to keep my head high and laugh the whole thing off. We could have been so beautiful together, but it's over. There's no light at the end of this tunnel, just an old bridge once crossed. I must stay headstrong.
I thought that this person brought out the best in me, that it was that person's fault I was doing much better in sports and school. But no; it was all me. I decided to do that. I decided to be better, act better, just to impress that person; and you know what? I feel better. This breakup was much harder than my last, but it's okay, because it made me even better.
I might never know the reason why that person left. It could be because that person was afraid, maybe that person didn't want to hurt me, that person thought I wasn't good enough, or maybe that person just wasn't ready, I will never really know. That person broke away, so I have no way of finding out. Hopefully my friend is right about that person, how that person actually still cares. But if not, I don't give a rat's a**. =P I'll keep going forward, and if that person wants me back, that person can come get me back.
"You know those huge skyscrapers? Of course you do; rhetorical question. Haha. Well, can you imagine those buildings without a foundation?
Sure, they'd stand tall. Yet during a gentle rain, you'll see them quake. But when a blizzard whirls around, the builds will crash.
You need to build a foundation;
which includes having self-confidence.
You need to love and believe in who you are.
After that, you add on other traits.. such as, optimism, for instance."
And eventually; problems will still hurt, but the pain is a little more dull.
You'll keep a clear and level head, and be able to surpass all troubles.
This is what the beautiful miss rayy taught me. I can't just be alive for one person and one person only. It may be what a relationship means, but a relationship is between two people. Both need to have some self-respect and confidence. Optimism is probably the biggest thing that will ever infect my life. It is actually healing my wounds; it helps to know I have friends who care. Like Another friend sid, I should look for people I know will never leave me. People who are great friends. And I'll be able to tell because they'll feel like family. Well, I know these two are great friends.
Thank you, The Deity Khaos and beautifulrayy. You guys helped me so much, I owe you.
And my love, I'll always remember you. But if what really happened is that you were never serious in the beginning, you can kiss my arse, because I'm not gonna put up with any kind of excuse you make up, unless it's sincere. People have to learn that emotions aren't toys; once they're scratched, they'll always be scratched.
'Cuz I'm being taken over by The Fear...
