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This was suppose to be posted on Mon. Apr. 20. 09

Note: Please read the Character list before reading this entry. Character list entry located at way bottom of all entries :3

I've been down in the dump, depressed, so blank. Why? I've lost my inspiration!
As a writer, I have many things that inspire me. An event that happened today, People, objects, music. Ect. But for some strange reason that I'm not sure of, I've lost it and I've never updated my "Fanfictions" in like .. . . . a long time. Writing is my baby, my soul and without writing, I have nothing. So I try to look for my inspiration. Looking back at my previous chapters that I had written in some fanfictions, I come up with an idea:
The characters in my story are based on actual friends! Like . . . . .Janette is based on a real friend named Janette. So I decide to hug (because I like hugs and hugging people gives me lots of ideas, you know, with reaction, what they say, ect.) all the "characters" that were in my story. In total, there were about 12. Kimi, Kari, Janette, Kotarou, Sora, Rie, Kira, Kaname, Karin, Jun'ichi, Kara, and Brandy. I even hug other ple that weren't in my story. And 11/12 of the people in my story did not give me my inspiration to write. That is, all except Kotarou. I sadly asked him fr a hug and he said no (beause he's mean and evil>.< ) and soI don't hug him. Several days later, I ask the people of more hugs and still nothing. I'm getting the feeling that i'll never get my inspiration back.
So now I'm in the lunch line with Kara and Jun and I'm looking so screwed up, tired, and depressed. Kara ask me what's wrong. I don't answer back. I nearly faint because I never due my inspiration-less self, I couldn't sleep, eat or even think straight! Heck, I couldn't even STAND UP straight! So I usually tilt to one side and Jun had to catch me before I fall.
I explain to them in very little details about finding inspiration and how I wanted to hug everyone to get it back, maybe.
"Did you hug Kotarou?" Kara ask me.
I shake my head no saying that he'll hate me if I do so.
"I'll force him." Kara says. Kara is very violent and usually gets whatever, or makes sure other people (certain) get what they desire. She makes things happen.
So during forth period, Kara tells Kotarou to hug me. He says no and she tries it again several times until the bell rings. Band rehearsal.
I'll skip band rehearsal, details are boring any ways.
So after band rehearsal, I ask Kotarou for a hug, and I'm really desperate for one. He says no and I just shake my head in disappointment shouting out. "I can't take it anymore! I quit writing." I either say that because I'm crazy or because my inspiration-less sef is making me say that.
"Yes! Good." He says while I just look at him with the STFU look.
Then I run and get an idea for my inspiration returns: Sorrow, Pity,Tears, and blood facial expressions with really strong emotions.
I reach the corner meet point, the place where my friends and I usually meet after school. There's no one here yet so I dropped my back to the ground to stop holding it. Then I sit on the railing close to the wall and for some strange reason, I cry. silently.
Everyone is starting to meet up. First it's Rae. Rae ask if she can borrow my phone. Oh s**t! I forgot that I lost it! Damn it. I tell her I lost it. Heh, that's no the only thing lost. So I see Akira with Kimi and Lei walking towards the meet point. I ask Akira for his phone so that I can all my parents to pick me up. He lends me his phone and I run behind a pillar to make a phone call. Looking down at the ground, I dial the number and call my parents. Kotarou is lurking around near by the pillar and sees me. I turn away a slight bit and return to my call. He walks behind a building near the pillar and after I make the call, he tells me with his hands to follow him. I don't know why, but I do.
We're behind the cafeteria building by a walk way leading to the library. He checks both directions for some reason.
"What?" I ask him and right before I could even BREATH, he just hugs me out of the blue, pushing me back against the air and holding me so that I wouldn't fall. His arms were around my waist, inner neck pushing on my neck dip. "Kotaoru!" I say surprised. I wrapped my arms around his back almost immediately like a reaction , not knowing what to do. The phone was still in my hands.
Now I felt a jolt in my body. It fills with memories, thoughts, ideas, everything about him. With just that hug? I think I've gotten my inspiration back!
Now I'm crying. Tears of joy. I'm crying on his shoulder and he pushes me off to see if 'm okay. "Kotarou." I say softly.
"There, you happy now?" He asks almost flat.
Tears are still flowing from my eyes. I wanted to run away again, but my feet were nailed to the ground.
He turns away from me and walks towards the walk way, I think he murmurs, "cry baby" or something like that.
But then I call him back again, "Kotarou", and he turns around. Using my finger, I call him over, closer to me and when he was close enough, I tippy toe (because I'm a little short) to reach his height and hug him around his neck. Then I kiss his cheek, crying a little more. "Thank you." I whisper to him. "Thank you, Kotarou. Wo Ai Ni." In Chinese, It means 'I love you' but he doesn't need to know that.
Then we part from each other, smiling. I look back to see my ride there and I run to return the phone to Akira. I grab my books and bag from the ground and run to the car, looking back at Kotarou who then disappears. Shaking my head, I mouth a soft thank you to the air and wave good bye to everyone.
The Little White wabbit has returned.