Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Natalie laid on her bed not crying anymore, but she could still feel the tears behind her eyes. She heard a soft knock on the door, “Go away!” She didn’t bother to look to see who it was.

Cameron slowly walked into the room and sat next to her on the bed. “I’m really sorry about your mom.”

Natalie sat up and looked at him, “I thought I told you to go away.”

“You did. I just didn’t think you really wanted to be alone.”

“Well, I do. Can you please leave now?” She could see that she was hurting him from the look in his eyes, but she didn’t want to talk to anyone. Not now. He got up and left, closing the door behind him. Natalie lay back down and stared out the window. Rebecca appeared in front of her, blocking her view, but Natalie didn’t notice.

“Hello Natalie.”

“God. You scared me.”

“I’m sorry dear. Are you alright?”

“No.”

“Why are you inside on such a beautiful day?” Rebecca turned to look outside as she asked.

“I am depressed Rebecca. Could you please leave me alone?” Natalie wasn’t sure how Rebecca would take it.

“I will leave you alone, but you have to go outside. Your mother is worried about you.”

Natalie stared at her, wondering if she heard her right. “My mother?”

“Yes, she is worried about you. I talked to her this morning.”

“Really?”

“Yes! She also wants you to stop blaming yourself for her death.” Then she disappeared.
Natalie got out of bed and walked out of the room. She saw Tawny and Demetra in the main hallway and quickly turned down the next hallways so she wouldn’t have to talk to them. Unfortunately, Cameron was there, but at least her already knew.

“Natalie!” He walked closer to her so he didn’t have to yell. He hugged her and said, “I was about to go check on you.”

“Why? I told you to leave me alone.”

“I don’t know. I was just worried about you I guess.”

Natalie sighed and was about to turn away, but she remembered Rebecca had told her to go outside. “Rebecca told me to go outside, but I don’t want to go by myself.”

“I will go with you. Wait, who is Rebecca?”

“Oh. She’s my guardian angel.”

“Your guardian angel? You can talk to angels?” Natalie just shrugged. “Okay, well Have you been to the garden yet?”

“Not yet.”

“Well, come on then!” Cameron and Natalie silently walked to the garden. “Close our eyes and hold my hand.” Natalie did as she was told and Cameron led her into the garden. “Okay. Open your eyes.”

Natalie opened her eyes, just like Cameron had told her to. “Cam! It’s beautiful.”

“So are you,” he muttered. “Hey, let’s go sit over there by the stream.” Natalie followed him and sat down next to him.

“So when is the funeral?”

Natalie pulled her knees close to her chest, “It doesn’t matter, I’m not going.”

“What? Why not?”

Natalie turned so she could look at him, “Cam, I feel like I helped kill her. Rebecca said my other wants me to stop feeling like I did, but I can’t help it.”

Cameron moved a little closer to Natalie. “I need to tell you something.” He paused for about a minute and looked across the stream. “Last year, about a week before school ended, my father died of cancer.”

“Cam, this isn’t the same, so don’t try to make it seem like it is.”

“No, just listen. My family wanted me to stay at home last year because he was so sick. They wanted me to get to know him better before he died. I didn’t want to though. I wanted to come back here. I promised I would go back and visit every month, but I never did,” Cameron couldn’t saw anything for a few minutes.

“I thought he would be there forever. I didn’t realize he could leave so soon. The next I knew, he was dead. I couldn’t go to his funeral because I was embarrassed that I never went to see him. It is one of my biggest regrets Natalie. Don’t make the same mistake I did.”

Natalie placed her hand on top of his. “I’m sorry Cam. I didn’t know.”

“Don’t be.”

“I will think about going.”

“I hope you make the right decision,” Cameron hugged her and they didn’t move for a while. Natalie was crying again, drenching Cam’s shirt.

“Hey! Look,” Cameron let of Natalie and pointed to the fox on the other side of the stream.

Natalie gasped. “It’s beautiful,” She whispered.

They stared at the fox until it disappeared back into the woods. Natalie laid in Cameron’s lap and he played with her hair until it got dark.

“We should really go inside,” Cameron whispered.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” They jumped up and slowly walked back to the school.

Before they got to the door, Natalie stopped. Cameron turned around so he could see her. “I’m going,” Natalie said. Cameron smiled and they walked inside.