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sad face
my mom has officially announced that i will never have internet access at my house ever again. its not like i had it before but i had always hoped of having it so that i could pay for it myself.... i mean, how am i supposed to have a social life without the internet? i am going to do a servey next week for how many people at my school have full internet access at their house... i really am sad for all the people that dont, but i have come to realize that its just me... my parents are always on me about how i dont have a social life or any friends, and i dont think they see why. after the whole incodent... you know which one i am talking about ... its just like a have been out of touch with the world already more than i was. I didnt have the internet at my fingertips then, and now it is totally vanquished from my life. i feel alone and everything but now that mom has done such a sudden and horrible thing as to tell me i will never have the internet, i feel totally lost in the dark, like nobody can even see me. i brought this point up to her, and she said 'well you can talk to all of your friends at shcool' and its not like i can. there is the whole class aspect that we have to deal with here... so now that i am totally lost and sad, she is all cheerful like her life has improved seince mine has illedegly gotten worse... i cant see how significantly worse it can get. she is threatening to take he cable away, but i would gladly exchange the television for the internet any day. and my whole computer background is leaving me too. i cant take my computer home anymore either... so i couldent go over to anyones house and use their internet... although she knows nothing of computers, she sure knows how to shut me away from the world through them. so now, on top of my being totally in the dark, she has come up with this whole points system. i have ten points a day. and everytime i use a point up, by being disrespectful, i come closer to losing all of my points. when that happens, i lose something... i am desperate, so i have been a horrible child. seeing as to how i have nothing to lose, i have been bad... and she has taken my computer away from he twice in the past three days... but technically i didnt have it in the first place... so all i have now is school to be a sanctuary from home... it is really nice to get away... i am actually not wishing for a snow day home is so boring. and i cant go to the office either... i may not be online for quite some time... sorry to all of you cry
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