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feelings..
"i love you" -stinging words-
said so many times.just not ever so true.when these words started stinging.is when i thought i was in love.i learned.the people who said it to me at one point never meant it.how can they love such a creature like me? but then.i met "him" in a heart beat he became my everything and i thought "he was the one" i did everything to keep him happy.when he said these words i truly believed he meant it but then months went by and our loved slowly withered away.the minute i noticed.i began to panic.i didn't want it to end but there was no stopping it.i thought.he'll be the person to really kill this bleeding heart but instead he only allowed it to suffer. i couldn't take it.so i killed my own heart. the last thing we both said before my heart beated for the last time was "i love you". days slowly passed on. i noticed how numb i became, how badly i just wished for him.how badly i wanted to die now that we weren't in love. i told myself, if i had to live with no love.so be it. i would chose my path of being "loveless" days then started passing with continuous numbing sensation. everything had once again gone dark. i'd see him every day again but we completely ignored each other. an aching sensation started to engulf where my heart was. thoughts of talking to started filling my brain. maybe, if i talk to him.if he really meant those word.he'll ask for me back.i was wrong. he just ignored me.everything that i thought was true showed its true self.all lies. i decided, i'll lock myself up again. avoid the pointless thing called love. days grew darker and i became more numb. at one point i thought "have i finally died?" but with each rising sun i was reminded of everything with a painful throb and tearful eyes. then.....someone new came into my life. he was the same way as me. tried killing himself but i had saved him. soon our friendship became more. i didn't want it though, i couldn't except it, i feared pain again. but his words told me he meant it was true. but i still couldn't believe. i noticed his heart. torn like mines was.i had told him my heart was dead..so i showed him. supringly he took..and revived it. it was filled with love. i couldn't help but smile once again. days passed and we got together. still together to this day, filled with love like no other. but now suddenly, those words once again start stinging me.they havent for so long and just now..why? is this a sign of the end? i..don't think my heart could take this..not again..im afraid...once again..pain from the past fills me now. telling me what had happen will happen again..i..don't want to lose him...






User Comments: [1] [add]
mousie_gurl
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Thu Jul 30, 2009 @ 10:50pm
i see how u feel nd i feel the same because most of the time love is just a game. sad


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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